post #31
18 August 2005, 18:06 UTC#31
It feeds the fire which is my HATRED FOR YOUTH!
Forum index / Funny shit / the joke thread
the joke thread
133 posts · page 2 of 5
post #32
18 August 2005, 18:06 UTC#32
okay here is a good one, a tuna sandwich walks into a jc pennies and meets michael jack, michael jackson says hey what is a tuna sandwich doing in a store
and the tuna sandwich says
there is no joke you dumb fuck
and the tuna sandwich says
there is no joke you dumb fuck
post #33
18 August 2005, 18:06 UTC#33
dumb men jokes are always stupid and non-funny.
but dumb women jokes are for the most part fairly amusing and witty.
which means, chicks are fucking dumb.
but dumb women jokes are for the most part fairly amusing and witty.
which means, chicks are fucking dumb.
post #34
18 August 2005, 18:06 UTC#34
QUOTE(Tomm @ Aug 18 2005, 04:16 PM)
QUOTE
10 men and one women were stranded. a helicopter cam to rescue them and they were all dangling from the rope. it was too heavy so they decided on person had to go. after a while the women came out with a touching speech of how and why she should go...... and all the men clapped!!
dont get it at all Image file not present in the recovered backup
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if you where holding a rope and you claped think about it Image file not present in the recovered backup
post #35
18 August 2005, 18:08 UTC#35
You'd be clapping rope 
post #36
18 August 2005, 18:37 UTC#36
Don't diss the irish Image file not present in the recovered backup Image file not present in the recovered backup we rulezor
post #37
18 August 2005, 21:12 UTC#37
!haey lleh
post #38
18 August 2005, 21:30 UTC#38
I didn't speak ill of the irish Image file not present in the recovered backup
post #39
18 August 2005, 21:34 UTC#39
not sure if I've posted this one before:
A couple were sitting up waiting for their fifteen year old son to come home from a social engagement when the boy comes into the house with a big smile on his face.
"Hi Mom! Hi Dad!†he said breathlessly. "Guess what? I've just had sex for the first time and it was wonderful."
His mother turned bright red and said to her husband, "He's your son. You talk to him." Then she left the room.
The father said, "Son, that's great. Now you've become a man and I'm proud of you. I'm going to celebrate the occasion by buying you that ten-speed bike you've been wanting. I hope you don't mind waiting till pay-day to get it".
"That's OK Dad," said the boy. "I couldn't ride it right now anyway. My ass is too sore.†Image file not present in the recovered backup
A couple were sitting up waiting for their fifteen year old son to come home from a social engagement when the boy comes into the house with a big smile on his face.
"Hi Mom! Hi Dad!†he said breathlessly. "Guess what? I've just had sex for the first time and it was wonderful."
His mother turned bright red and said to her husband, "He's your son. You talk to him." Then she left the room.
The father said, "Son, that's great. Now you've become a man and I'm proud of you. I'm going to celebrate the occasion by buying you that ten-speed bike you've been wanting. I hope you don't mind waiting till pay-day to get it".
"That's OK Dad," said the boy. "I couldn't ride it right now anyway. My ass is too sore.†Image file not present in the recovered backup
post #40
18 August 2005, 21:38 UTC#40
hahahahahaahhaah Image file not present in the recovered backup
post #41
19 August 2005, 13:35 UTC#41
This guy named Jim walks into restroom and goes over to the urinal and starts peeing and as he is peeing he sees this REALLY short, ugly guy with lots of warts and stuff who's like 4'5 beside him peeing.
"man your short" comments Jim.
"I'm a leprechaun," responds the other guy.
"Yeeeeah right,"says jim.
"I truly am!!!" insists the leprechaun.
Jim shakes his head in disgust and continues peeing.
"I swear im a leprechaun! Hey I'll even give you three wishes to proove it man!"
Jim thinking he has nothing to lose agrees.
"okay I first wish I had a bright red ferarri with leather seats," wishes Jim.
"Done,"says the leprechaun snapping his fingers, "as soon as you get home the car will be waiting in your driveway"
"cool..."remarks Jim. "okay for my second wish I want my house to be a whole block long and be the best house in the whole world and I want to have the most gorgeous wife" he greedily wishes.
the leprechaun snaps his fingers again and says, "when you get home your wish will be fufilled"
so they're both still peeing and the leprechaun says "hurry up I dont have all day!"
Jim thinks with all his might but he just cant think of his third wish! Finally he looks down at the leprechaun and says "WOW you've got a BIG dick!!! For my third wish I want to have a big dick like you!"
"I cant do that"says the leprechaun.
"come on.. you said you could do anything!"whines Jim.
"well...."
"oh please??"
"I can do it on one condition..." begins the leprechaun.
"sure sure name it!" excitedly says Jim.
"if you agree to f*@k me up the ass.." suggests the leprechaun.
"EWWWW EWWW THAT'S DISGUSTING!!! NO WAY!" says Jim!
"I'll make it even BIGGER" tempts the leprechaun.
So after much convincing Jim agrees to do it. So they go into a little stall and do their thang.....after they finish Jim comments, "I cant believe you have such a BIG DICK!"
and in response the leprechaun says.... "I cant believe you actually thought I was a leprechaun!"
"man your short" comments Jim.
"I'm a leprechaun," responds the other guy.
"Yeeeeah right,"says jim.
"I truly am!!!" insists the leprechaun.
Jim shakes his head in disgust and continues peeing.
"I swear im a leprechaun! Hey I'll even give you three wishes to proove it man!"
Jim thinking he has nothing to lose agrees.
"okay I first wish I had a bright red ferarri with leather seats," wishes Jim.
"Done,"says the leprechaun snapping his fingers, "as soon as you get home the car will be waiting in your driveway"
"cool..."remarks Jim. "okay for my second wish I want my house to be a whole block long and be the best house in the whole world and I want to have the most gorgeous wife" he greedily wishes.
the leprechaun snaps his fingers again and says, "when you get home your wish will be fufilled"
so they're both still peeing and the leprechaun says "hurry up I dont have all day!"
Jim thinks with all his might but he just cant think of his third wish! Finally he looks down at the leprechaun and says "WOW you've got a BIG dick!!! For my third wish I want to have a big dick like you!"
"I cant do that"says the leprechaun.
"come on.. you said you could do anything!"whines Jim.
"well...."
"oh please??"
"I can do it on one condition..." begins the leprechaun.
"sure sure name it!" excitedly says Jim.
"if you agree to f*@k me up the ass.." suggests the leprechaun.
"EWWWW EWWW THAT'S DISGUSTING!!! NO WAY!" says Jim!
"I'll make it even BIGGER" tempts the leprechaun.
So after much convincing Jim agrees to do it. So they go into a little stall and do their thang.....after they finish Jim comments, "I cant believe you have such a BIG DICK!"
and in response the leprechaun says.... "I cant believe you actually thought I was a leprechaun!"
post #42
19 August 2005, 13:47 UTC#42
LOLOLOLOLOLOL, p00n!
post #43
19 August 2005, 13:50 UTC#43
QUOTE(Luders @ Aug 19 2005, 01:34 PM)
.... "I cant believe you actually thought I was a leprechaun!"
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hahahahaha...I like that one......
post #44
19 August 2005, 14:24 UTC#44
Made me 'lol' then people looked at me and said "What's so funny?" then I'm like "Forget it..."
post #45
19 August 2005, 16:47 UTC#45
Sam from LOB.
post #46
19 August 2005, 17:27 UTC#46
A man is walking along a cliff side when he sees a woman who looks like she is about to jump.
The woman is talking to herself - "I dont diserve to live like this! My family hate me! Nobody loves me!"
The man cant help overhear her and quikly calls out to her - "NO WAIT! DONT DO IT! If your gonna kill yourself atleast give me a quick blowjob.."
The woman says - "Well....I guess I have nothign to lose so ok...fine"
So the guy gets head real quick and when they finish the man is curious and asks - "So...why on earth do you want to kill yourself!"
The woman replied - "My family hates me"
MAN-"Why?"
WOMAN-"They always have..."
MAN-"Since when?"
WOMAN-"Since I started dressing as a woman"
The woman is talking to herself - "I dont diserve to live like this! My family hate me! Nobody loves me!"
The man cant help overhear her and quikly calls out to her - "NO WAIT! DONT DO IT! If your gonna kill yourself atleast give me a quick blowjob.."
The woman says - "Well....I guess I have nothign to lose so ok...fine"
So the guy gets head real quick and when they finish the man is curious and asks - "So...why on earth do you want to kill yourself!"
The woman replied - "My family hates me"
MAN-"Why?"
WOMAN-"They always have..."
MAN-"Since when?"
WOMAN-"Since I started dressing as a woman"
post #47
19 August 2005, 17:59 UTC#47
thats what u get for trying to help someone
post #48
19 August 2005, 18:27 UTC#48
exactly Image file not present in the recovered backup
post #49
19 August 2005, 18:42 UTC#49
a man a zebra walk into a bar and get drunk the aebra collapses and the barman say you can't leave lying that lying there the man replys
that not a lion it's a zebra
badom tiss I'm still funny cough cough
that not a lion it's a zebra
badom tiss I'm still funny cough cough
post #50
19 August 2005, 19:04 UTC#50
that's playing with word it's cleaver unlike me
post #51
21 August 2005, 20:03 UTC#51
Q - A Blonde and A Burnette are fed up with their lives so they decide to commit suicide...they both jump off a cliff at exactly the same time..who reaches the bottom first?
A - The Brunnette cause the Blonde had to stop and ask for directions Image file not present in the recovered backup Image file not present in the recovered backup Image file not present in the recovered backup Image file not present in the recovered backup
haha..had to bring this back up I wanna read more joookes! Image file not present in the recovered backup
A - The Brunnette cause the Blonde had to stop and ask for directions Image file not present in the recovered backup Image file not present in the recovered backup Image file not present in the recovered backup Image file not present in the recovered backup
haha..had to bring this back up I wanna read more joookes! Image file not present in the recovered backup
post #52
21 August 2005, 20:09 UTC#52
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
post #53
21 August 2005, 22:33 UTC#53
A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar.
And that's just the first guy.
And that's just the first guy.
post #54
21 August 2005, 22:42 UTC#54
BAAHHH HAHAHAHA
post #55
21 August 2005, 22:49 UTC#55
2 guys walk into a bar. The 3rd one ducks.
Oh emm gee. Best joke ever.
Oh emm gee. Best joke ever.
post #56
21 August 2005, 22:54 UTC#56
Why did the woman cross the road ?
That's not the point she should have been in the kitchen
That's not the point she should have been in the kitchen
post #57
22 August 2005, 00:55 UTC#57
Wrong, she should be on her knees. 
post #58
22 August 2005, 09:29 UTC#58
QUOTE([TNowhere] Kane @ Aug 19 2005, 04:47 PM)
Sam from LOB.
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Be nice silly goose!
post #59
22 August 2005, 10:54 UTC#59
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Completely Mad, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Completely Mad, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
post #60
22 August 2005, 15:16 UTC#60
knock knock
who's there
barbie
barbie who
bbq
that's a classic Image file not present in the recovered backup
who's there
barbie
barbie who
bbq
that's a classic Image file not present in the recovered backup