Super Happy Funtime Game Of Good Smile Feelings!

I think I said that just because you have such a misogynistic attitude on here, that it'd have to come from some horrible experience where a woman really humiliated you.

Apparently I either kick dogs or fist my girlfriend.

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Most people seem to think so haha.

Answer tiem! No one got close to a full score, but I remember seeing some correct answers amongst the guesses.

1) I got beaten up by the girl I lost my virginity to - the fact Funk Master Steven was beaten up by a girl is far more likely than him getting laid, in my opinion.

2) I kick my dog when he misbehaves - you dick. I mean, Nick. Nick Statler.

3) My first long-term girlfriend once demanded that I fist her during sex - interesting how Mono refuses to specify his reaction to this.

4) After a night out while waiting for a taxi, I met three girls that were going the same way as me who had no money. I offered to pay for the ride home and they all gave me a blowjob in the back of the car - Marc Mason, of course.

5) I have never been to a strip club - not even those weird ones filled with Japanese businessmen, says Blargh.

6) While having sex with an ex-girlfriend, we heard her grandma and 12 year-old sister coming down the hall. I managed to get half-dressed with my trousers on backwards and no boxers as they walk into a room that smells like a German sauna. Even though her grandma realised what was going on and left, her sister shouted "What's that smell? It stinks!" To cover it up I chased her round the room, spraying deodorant everywhere. Needless to say, she also found my boxers - oh Made, you scoundrel.

7) I find girls with shaved or bald heads really hot. I think this is because when I was about 13, I was playing Time Crisis in an arcade when Gail Porter came over and played a game with me - she was filming for a TV show at the time - and I developed a teenage crush on her. Then she got alopecia - FUCK YEAH TIME CRISIS. This is K-K-K-Kane.

8) When I was very young, during a visit to the swimming pool, this fat guy made me go underwater when no one was looking, and he pulled down his shorts and showed me his cock. He did this a couple of times before I got bored and swam away. I realised only years later that he was some sick paedophile, possibly grooming me for rape - sadly, this is me, Liam. Never told anyone about it, possibly my most disturbing memory. Haha.

9) I gatecrashed a party when I was 16 and had drunken sex with a girl. In the morning I found dried blood in my boxers and got pissed that she hadn't told me she was on her period. I soon realised that I had snapped my banjo string, and I was the one doing the bleeding. After letting it heal for a couple of weeks, I tried fucking some girls in Newquay, which just ripped it again. It's now totally healed - I was forced to leave out the last sentence, which went "now I can fuck till the cows come home, without any stress or strain! literally!", or it would have been too easy to identify this as Dex.

10) I once accidentally knocked a girl unconscious with my shoe - I want to ask Mr Brown if the shoe was on his foot at the time?

11) I broke into a house. Then I made myself a sandwich and left - that's our kraaaaaazy Slavin! What will he do next?

12) When I was 10, I shit on the side of a church while my friend looked on, laughing - pretty much sums up Rob's entire character, I feel.

13) The smell of the Body Shop always reminds me of my awkward first wank - so I guess kiwi-scented soap and goat-faeces facial scrub turn Circa on in some weird way?

14) When I was 18, I met up with a friend who was driving his mum's brand new BMW. I thought it would be funny to call the police, put on an old man's voice and say that the driver of this car was threatening me and my wife with a blade. Five minutes later he was pulled over by three police cars, pinned down and strip-searched. They ripped the seats and upholstery out of the car, looking for a knife that didn't exist. He got arrested and I found it hilarious - a tale of shenanigans and japery from the pen of one Bazariah.

And so another odyssey comes to an end. Looking forward to Part III sometime in the future. Peace out Image file not present in the recovered backup

I think she figured since I did stunts I was into getting hit in the face repeatedly.

surprisingly not a turn on.

Haha.

I used some hand lotion from there and now it'll haunt me forever.

I wish it was me who got the 3 blowjobs in a taxi! But unfortunately I just broke my dick instead.

I was with him that night, stupidly I left just before. I coulda got head from strippers.

I got a whopping 0/14 correct.

I suck.

I want another one now haha.

As do I. I'll submit one this time. I'll send one to you now, Liam.

Alrighty, anyone who wants to can send something any time, I'll probably wait a couple of weeks at least for the next one though.

Just sent you mine. Don't judge me.

Made my night <3

yeah, sent.

Fucking lol.

This is the greatest game in internet history.

I got nicks right and I swapped me and dex around

w00t

more than none

I got 3 right yeeeeah.

You've told me before.

Haha, it's so fucked.

I'm surprised it took a few times before you got bored of it.

I was so young I literally had no idea what was going on, or I would have had him drowned by the lifeguard.

Pass the misery forward and do the same thing to a kid the same age as you were back then. That's the best way to have your revenge.

iv got one for next weeks show. will send later

Hahaha whaaaaat. But she always looked so innocent!



Swear you've told me that too, I knew it was you.

That's weird, I thought it was my deepest darkest secret lol. Must have been during drunken tiemz.

edit: vip

I'm a lifeguard.

Odds are he is a serial offender, we'll stake out some local pools and start drowning old people till we get some closure.

Sarah was so dirty. She fucked Charlie within hours of first meeting him at some party a while back. Now he's gonna try fuck Rox too. Best friends <333

"Ow charlieee"