QUOTE(Ray @ Mar 14 2009, 09:32 PM) [snapback]539880[/snapback]
Baz has never been to a strip club, despite being 30 years old.
mate I spent many weekends in soho at the strip clubs, the real classy place's with £30 lap dances and £10 jd & cokes. the kind of place where you gotta pay shit loads or take a kickin from the security
anyhooo
) I got beaten up by the girl I lost my virginity to. - Marc Mason
2) I kick my dog when he misbehaves. -Blargh
3) My first long-term girlfriend once demanded that I fist her during sex. - Rob
4) After a night out while waiting for a taxi, I met three girls that were going the same way as me who had no money. I offered to pay for the ride home and they all gave me a blowjob in the back of the car. - Kane
5) I have never been to a strip club. - Mono
6) While having sex with an ex-girlfriend, we heard her grandma and 12 year-old sister coming down the hall. I managed to get half-dressed with my trousers on backwards and no boxers as they walk into a room that smells like a German sauna. Even though her grandma realised what was going on and left, her sister shouted "What's that smell? It stinks!" To cover it up I chased her round the room, spraying deodorant everywhere. Needless to say, she also found my boxers. - Nick Statler
7) I find girls with shaved or bald heads really hot. I think this is because when I was about 13, I was playing Time Crisis in an arcade when Gail Porter came over and played a game with me - she was filming for a TV show at the time - and I developed a teenage crush on her. Then she got alopecia. - Liam
8) When I was very young, during a visit to the swimming pool, this fat guy made me go underwater when no one was looking, and he pulled down his shorts and showed me his cock. He did this a couple of times before I got bored and swam away. I realised only years later that he was some sick paedophile, possibly grooming me for rape. - Slavin
9) I gatecrashed a party when I was 16 and had drunken sex with a girl. In the morning I found dried blood in my boxers and got pissed that she hadn't told me she was on her period. I soon realised that I had snapped my banjo string, and I was the one doing the bleeding. After letting it heal for a couple of weeks, I tried fucking some girls in Newquay, which just ripped it again. It's now totally healed. - Mr Brown
10) I once accidentally knocked a girl unconscious with my shoe. - Bazariah
11) I broke into a house. Then I made myself a sandwich and left. -Funk Master Steven
12) When I was 10, I shit on the side of a church while my friend looked on, laughing. - Made
13) The smell of the Body Shop always reminds me of my awkward first wank. -Dex
14) When I was 18, I met up with a friend who was driving his mum's brand new BMW. I thought it would be funny to call the police, put on an old man's voice and say that the driver of this car was threatening me and my wife with a blade. Five minutes later he was pulled over by three police cars, pinned down and strip-searched. They ripped the seats and upholstery out of the car, looking for a knife that didn't exist. He got arrested and I found it hilarious. -Circa
