Fit bird on the train this morning.. had the big paris esq sun glasses on, nice black dress, huge tits.. I was in love.. but with any packed train en route to london it's very had to spark up a conversation with someone you don't know because every fucker sits down and shuts the fuck up!
Well I had a great idea, write a text message to her on my phone drafts, hand her the phone let her read it and fingers crossed she will respond with a smile.. one down side, she was sitting by the door and I was stuck between 3 people, I drafted a message "Hay, I know this is going to sound strange, but I didn't want to have to whole train listen in, you are a stunning looking woman, and I couldn't help but be taken back by you, I was wondering if you would like to take my number and when we get of this train, maybe send me a text and I could get to know you a little better. Dan 078188**214" I then stood up and walked towards the door near where she was sitting, I said excuse me and handed her the phone, she looked at me and said "May I help you" thus letting every single fucker on the train look in my direction, I was very red by this point but knew there was no backing out now, I said "read it" pointing to the phone. She looked up and me, this looming mad man, and replyed "emm, no I am ok thanks" I could feel all the eyes around me thinking to themself (dickhead) Plan B I thought, Plan B, Oh great we are pulling into a station I can get off... then it hit me Fast Train, it just stops at London Waterloo East, So now I am stuck on a packed train, standing next to a girl who thinks I am a total wanker. for another 10mins. At last Waterloo East, I jumpped off the train as quick as I could.. I wanted to die, why didn't I just talk to her, why did I have to try and be funny, well it didn't matter I just got a text for a girl who is coming over next week, "Looking forward to coming round your flat, you better know I am drinking you under the table... Ellen xoxo" Ah, thats better, stick to what you are good at Dan...
Ellen ---->
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