post #1
25 August 2005, 03:01 UTC#1
First thing, it's long, but it's funny as fuck:
WARNING: MATURE CONTENT
NOTE- This is the American version of the joke, there are many other versions. I found this one particulary bad.
I think it's the funniest thing in the world.
WARNING: MATURE CONTENT
NOTE- This is the American version of the joke, there are many other versions. I found this one particulary bad.
QUOTE
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
The Father then yells out "Men and Women in the Workplace" Then they all suddenly strip of their clothing and take their positions. The girls lay down on their backs when the men stand over top of them. Then the men begin to piss all over the mother and daughter. While the women the spin and flop around like a freshly caught fish. The dog then moves from mother to daughter licking the piss off their bodies.
Then the father yells "America's Melting Pot" The son then shouts out "White American!". Then the daughter grabs a spiked dildo out of her purse on the floor then starts ramming it into her vagina. Faster, Faster, harder, harder, until blood is gushing out of her snatch. She then promptly rolls around in it and smears it all over her face and body. She then stands up and Yells "Native American"
The Mother then Squats down and proceeds to take a huge shit. A mind blowing mega gynormous monster shit complete with peanut eyes and corny mouth. She then drops down and rubs it all over her body. So there is shit all over her legs arms tits ass and face. She then stands up and yells, "African American."
The Father then grabs a giant jug of cold beans and proceeds to chug the whole jug. Seconds later regurgitating this nasty light brown bean barf all over the floor. He then Rubs it all over his body. Slopping this brown bean covered yak into every crevice of his frame. Then he goes to his wifes monster shit and sticks his finger in. Then smears it across his chin. Giving himself a nice Dirty Sanchez Mustache. He then stands up and yells "I am a Mexican American!"
Then the get in a circle with a dog in between them and salute it while they hum Hail to the Chief" They all cry out, "Welcome Mr President" Then mother then bends down and starts jerking off the dog while the daughter begings licking its nuts. The father then starts fucking the dog in the ass while the son starts fucking its mouth. Then after the father and the son and the dog come at the same time they light the dog on fire.
Stil in a circle they begin to sing god bless America while stroking their privates afterward they march around the funeral pyre with the mother in front and the father in the rear and a fist in each asshole. Then they roll around on the charred dead dog remains and feces and cum and blood and begin to suck and fuck and shit and piss for 2 hours. Then when its all said and done they collect the shit in the bucket, drape a flag over it, and march it out of the room. They all then return and say, "Tada!"
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
The Father then yells out "Men and Women in the Workplace" Then they all suddenly strip of their clothing and take their positions. The girls lay down on their backs when the men stand over top of them. Then the men begin to piss all over the mother and daughter. While the women the spin and flop around like a freshly caught fish. The dog then moves from mother to daughter licking the piss off their bodies.
Then the father yells "America's Melting Pot" The son then shouts out "White American!". Then the daughter grabs a spiked dildo out of her purse on the floor then starts ramming it into her vagina. Faster, Faster, harder, harder, until blood is gushing out of her snatch. She then promptly rolls around in it and smears it all over her face and body. She then stands up and Yells "Native American"
The Mother then Squats down and proceeds to take a huge shit. A mind blowing mega gynormous monster shit complete with peanut eyes and corny mouth. She then drops down and rubs it all over her body. So there is shit all over her legs arms tits ass and face. She then stands up and yells, "African American."
The Father then grabs a giant jug of cold beans and proceeds to chug the whole jug. Seconds later regurgitating this nasty light brown bean barf all over the floor. He then Rubs it all over his body. Slopping this brown bean covered yak into every crevice of his frame. Then he goes to his wifes monster shit and sticks his finger in. Then smears it across his chin. Giving himself a nice Dirty Sanchez Mustache. He then stands up and yells "I am a Mexican American!"
Then the get in a circle with a dog in between them and salute it while they hum Hail to the Chief" They all cry out, "Welcome Mr President" Then mother then bends down and starts jerking off the dog while the daughter begings licking its nuts. The father then starts fucking the dog in the ass while the son starts fucking its mouth. Then after the father and the son and the dog come at the same time they light the dog on fire.
Stil in a circle they begin to sing god bless America while stroking their privates afterward they march around the funeral pyre with the mother in front and the father in the rear and a fist in each asshole. Then they roll around on the charred dead dog remains and feces and cum and blood and begin to suck and fuck and shit and piss for 2 hours. Then when its all said and done they collect the shit in the bucket, drape a flag over it, and march it out of the room. They all then return and say, "Tada!"
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
I think it's the funniest thing in the world.
