Important Question . . .

A man walks into a bar . . .

NED FUCKING KELLY

STRING THEORY FTW! Image file not present in the recovered backup

Hell no, David Gilmore is god.

fuck all you guys. ANTIPERSPIRANT DEODORANT FTW!!

The amazing mechanical surfboard.

Knock Knock..

Whos There? ...

Bannana...

Bananna Who? ...
Knock Knock..

Whos There? ...

Bannana...

Bananna Who? ...

Knock Knock..

Whos There? ...

Bannana...

Bananna Who? ...

Knock Knock..

Whos There? ...

Orange..

Orange Who? ..

Orange You Glad I Didnt Say Bannana

Not really.

Im sorry.. you have a bad taste in jokes. That one is a classic..

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, the priest orders a bottle of the finest scotch from the barman, sits down with the rabbi and pours a shot for them both. They end up finishing the bottle and stagger home blind rotten drunk, on the way passing an old lady writhing on the pavement like a beached whale. "Is everything okay?" asks the Priest. The old lady looks up and says "I've just sold my kneecaps on Ebay so I could afford to buy some cigarettes." The Priest and the Rabbi look at each other with a shocked expression. "Are you fucking retarded? Smoking kills thousands of people every year, it's a dirty habit only taken up by whores and paedophiles!" screamed the Rabbi at the now stunned, but still immobilised grandmother on the sidewalk. The Priest and the Rabbi scream "Heathen! as they pull thy holy Rocket Propelled Machete Launchers out of thy holy holsters and start blasting the old lady with round after round of Machetes.

After ejaculating on the corpse the Priest and The Rabbi continue their drunken stroll back home. "I haven't killed a senior citizen since I was 17, I forgot what I was missing!" exclaimed the Rabbi, giving the Priest a high-five. They both laugh as they turn onto a dark pathway through an old, abandoned forest littered with dense scrub and discarded bucket bongs. "This place gives me the heebies" whimpers the Priest. "The what!?" ask the Rabbi, slightly confused. "You know. . . Heebies. . . Heebie Jeebies" the Priest replies. The Rabbi shakes his head in disbelief, "that's perhaps the worst possible way to define fear ever conceived, if you weren't a priest I would've punched you right in the scrotum." The Priest stops walking and says "I'm a Priest, big whoop, wanna fight about it?" as he raises his fists in preparation. The Rabbi, not hesitating, lands an uppercut right to the priest's scrotum. He falls to the ground in a crumpled heap, bleeding heavily from the testicles. "I'm sorry Mr. Priest, I didn't mean to severely damage your reproductive organs!" cries the Rabbi, "is there anything I can do for you?" The Priest coughs up a small puddle of blood and says "my dying wish is to write something that starts off like a joke, but in the end it's just a ridiculously pointless story." The Priest then coughs up his kidneys. "I don't have much time" he continues, "will you write it for me?" "Of Course!" the Rabbi says, standing up defiantly. "I won't rest until your wish is fulfilled" and runs off home. He opens his front door and in that moment, a rift in space and time is created and the universe collapses on itself, ceasing all existence as we know it.

The unemployed, aka me.

Also, best joke:
http://homegrownforums.com/index.php?showtopic=14646&hl

Blatantly Rasputin!!!

How do u know when a gypsy bird is on her period?
Shes only got one sock on.

Solar Flares. FTW

Lol the clown joke reminded me of the urban legend where the dude takes LSD on a night out, then captures a goblin on his way home. He takes it back with him and locks it in his wardrobe. Then in the morning he wakes up, looks inside the wardrobe and lying there is a kid with downs syndrome.

Man I know this skag head who told me that happened to him, but heroin can make people into liars

It's such an old urban legend. Never happened to anyone.

Lol true, so many people claim that story. I was at a party at Uni and some guy whipped it out in front of everyone, I finished the last line for him and totally showed him up.

some guy whipped it out in front of everyone

Love the way you put it

Banana

*gasp*

ADD POLL CHOICE!
ADD POLL CHOICE DAMNIT!!

Fuck I hated that badger/mushroom video.

It's a snake.

Anyway, back on topic . . .

Who would win in a fight, Macaulay Culkin or a large inflatable penis?

it would be a tie because a cameo appearance by MJ will conduct a disqualification for both parties.

External image not preserved — inspect source: http://www.sports-photos.com/catalog/images/MichaelJordan3Clr.tif.jpg
lolwut?