Drunk

This isnt drunk thread #2. This is thread for posting stories of your drunken night, sober.

I´ll start:

Last saturday j0nes had house warming party. We drunk at his awesome new appartment. Continued to a bar which closed 4am, after that me and JV (Features in Rip/off the movie) continue to look some place to go. We get a call from JV´s friend that we could go at his place to continue drinking. We take taxi to his place.

When we get there the truth avails. The guy isnt there, he is somewhere else, with some girl. So we are freezing our asses of in rain, untill we notice: The balcony door is open. So we have kind of permission to go to his place... so we decide that I´ll climb up and let my friend in. So I do the spiderman and climb up 30 feet to the balcony. When I get there I hear woman shouting "I´ve allready called police" thinking that we are burglars. Im like "yeah whatever bitch" then I go to the appartments door, just to notice that its locked from inside out, so I cant get out or let JV in. At the same time JV is outside bad mouthing the neighbour who had called police.

I think, what the heck. Open the tv, take glass of water and start relaxing. After a while police arrives, throws JV in to the police car because he was insulting them as well. We gave police the apartment owners number, but his battery had run out and they couldnt reach him. It was kind of hard trying to explain that we infact had permission to be there, actually they didnt want to listen to anything we had to say.

Police comes to apartments door, rings doorbell. I go at the door, but cant open it so I just say "Morning." Police: "What are you doing there?" Me: "Watching MTV and drinking water." Police: "Open the door" Me: "I cant its locked and I dont have the key" They bring the janitor, but even he cant open it because the apartments owner had changed to locks.

So Im locked in the apartment, only way to leave is down from the balcony, three storys, and its way harder to go down. Police are waiting downstair thinking Im burglar. And Im too pussy to climb down, I try explain that by shouting from balcony Me: "I cant climb down, its too hard" Then the neighbour goes "I saw him climbing, he was like monkey, DO IT AGAIN MONKEY!" Damn I was irritated, but after all decide to climb down, I manage to do it, but when I hit the ground police straight away throws me in to the police car as well.

Me and JV sit in the Police car and think that we are heading to station for hearing and then in jail for some time. But what happens next? The knight in shining armour arrives, Finlands own Tom Cruise, Bencka runs to the scene. Uses his natural charm, explains the situation and gets police to let us go. They still had to make report about it...

Few days after the apartments owner called the police and explained what happened no investigation was started and they lived happily ever after.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Went to my mates house party, drank a bottle and half of vodka and half a bottle of JD. everything went black and I still to this day dont remember shit from that night.

but apparently, was slumped against the wall laughing for ages, puked up on the brand new carpet, punched my mate who litterly threw me out the house, and parents had to come pick me up hahaha

was odd waking up the next morning in my own bed going "What the fuck happened"

Killed half a bottle of vodka and 10 beers. My buddies an I decided to start a camp fire out in the back yard. We proceed to do this and my shirt catches on fire. I think its funny so I take it off and whirl it around my head. Apparently it was some odd material that dripped molten embers and while I was twirling it the burning embers were flying everywhere

10 minutes after the shirt had completely burned, my drunk friends and I turn to see that the tent we were gonna sleep in has a huge corner of it lit on fire. We put it out with the hose, so now all of our stuff is soaked. my friends end up sleeping in the house and made me sleep in the tent, where I proceeded to try to sleep in the cold wet sleeping bag. The conditions I was sleeping in, not to mention the alcohol, made me puke all night, all over myself, without me even knowing. I woke up the next morning cold, wet and covered in my own puke. I opened my eyes to find a giant gaping hole in the side of my tent and I smiled because I knew I had a good night!



EDIT- and one time I got drunk and hooked up with a 7th grader. That really sucked

LMAO that is one of the best stories ever

kinda off topic, but when I hear brits say a 'bottle' of alcohol, how big of a bottle is it? in america, they sell alcohol by the shot.

bottle of vodka
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as americans say, a fifth. thank you for clearing that up for me.

Vode's story is pretty unbeatable.

true that is tho. sheerpandemonium's was pretty good but sad and pathetic

Well, I tried Image file not present in the recovered backup

Haha, love FMS´s sig.

The fuck he jacked my sig

How'd you do it Ben? Are Finnish cops just much more reasonable than around here?

I'm tired of you perpetrating my flow.

Yeah they bought my story. I was just being honest although drunk off my mind. I just told them that I ran across half of helsinki from the crib where the apartment's owner was getting on with some girls to help the guys out, and that there was no way of getting through to him at that point so I apologized on vode's and JV's behalf and gave my own contact information to them. Then they just took all three of us into the van and told us that they'd let us out a little further away from the place.

But yeah, in most cases, compared to the stories I hear from people on these forums, cops in our country are really friendly and rarely dicks.

Cops in America would have hurt you and brought you to a holding cell for the night.

I've never been caught by the cops, but this is coming from what I've seen happen to my friends. Maybe it's just Americans as a whole are more violent and so our cops have to be too, I'm not sure.

Either way, whenever I can I still want to make a trip out to Finland to get drunk and party with all of you guys.

Yeah I badmouthed a cop and the cop just twisted my arm a bit, put me in the copvan and let me go 15minutes later after giving me a lecture on good manners and whatever.

They dont have that much rights over here... but what he have here mostly is domestic violence and drunken fights... so its no very dangerous for them so they can chill a bit more... I guess.

I want to go to finland

Would it be hard for someone who doesn't speak Finnish to live there?

Yeah we have our bad apples in our society too but I guess it rarely gets even close to as intense for our cops as for your cops. And cops are usually pretty reasonable with them too. We're still a small nation with few people to watch over.
All in all our nation is pretty much a pussy when it comes down to taking care of criminals. I'm not sure but I think a lifetime sentence here is 12 years..



edit: no, like 3/4 of the population here speaks english. The rest are senior citizens who didn't study english in school

I want to move there, it sounds so much more chill than around here.

roomates??

You'd get bored and miserable here
It would be like moving from NYC to the middle of Idaho

I'm down if you can pay half the rent.


Nah man, I live in a small town now, and cities aren't that great. Maybe I wont move there, but I definitely want to visit while I still can and before I'm forced into the real world where I have to pay for all my rent, bills, and food.

no problem ill just steal ben's cheques and go to the bank with a tom cruise mask on

Now this is one of my favourite tales, but one I am not to proud of... here we go...

Back in October 2006, John Webb told me that he and his work mate Adam Tilly and his friend Simon were gong up to Buckinghamshire to see Lupen Crooke play at his gig in a University which Simon attends. This sounded like a very good excuse to get absolutely wasted, so of course I said 'LET ME COME!'... so he asked Adam who had already heard about me being a fucking idiot and possibly retarded, and he had no objections... whey!

Come the day we was about to leave it was all about booze! booze! booze! and booze I did! 1ltr of Vodkat and 6 Stella's for the drive up there, not to bad. As soon as I got in the car the guys were laughing because I'd bought 4 bottles of Diet Coke and filled half of each bottle with Vod ha! Oh yes I come prepared! We had 2 and a 1/2 hours ride up there why not get smashed?

I had never herd Lupen Crooke before so on the journey up there Adam played some of his tunes which had me in hysterics! Pacifically the lyric, 'where are my fucking keys, I ain't had sex in weeks' ha!

All the Vodkat and 6 Stella's later we were half hour away from Simon's Uni Dorm which we were staying in, and I needed a wee wee. We were making great time so I can understand Adam for not wanting to stop for me to slash. So… I grab the Stella bottle from the floor quite pissed as I were I undone my flies' as John was filming me. I forced my bell end up to the open bottle neck and let go like a burst beaver damn. I couldn't fully let all my pee out, I had to hold some in due to the size of the bottle, me being to drunk to switch bottles without spilling piss and the fact that no one else would switch it for me! So there I am just about to throw this bottle of discuss out of the drivers window when John shout's 'I DARE YOU TO DRINK IT!'… you bastard John… you bastard. Now I'm not one to turn down a dare so… I took a gulp… everyone laughed and called me a 'Wrongen' har… har.

So the evening carries on with our retarded antics. We get to the Uni… Adam fucks up the bottom of his car by driving over a parking space separator… we get into the dorm where John and I drink some 4 week old milk… we drive to a 5 floor car park near the gig… Adam hits the wall as he parks… I jump from our floor down to the next and run like a spider?... on are way walking to the gig we comes across 2 kebab stands opposite each other in the street, Denis and Charlie's. Being the drunk as I was I started to piss them off by asking 21 questions. What's your name? Who's better? how much is chip's n pita with out the chips? Etc… Eventually we get to the gig and were the first to arrive! JD any one???

4 double JD's later and I'm feeling pretty god damn gatterd and the bar is giving out free match box's. Now, I don't smoke but I never turn down anything free because it all comes in handy at some time! So I go to the bar to get a few match box's, and while I'm there I remember to ask if they have my all time favourite drink… Absinth! 'Do you sell Absinth?', 'No we don't'… 'Bollocks!' We all sat down on these cushion seats in a circle drinking away as I was trying to burn up the entire match box's. This didn't last very long due to a member of staff coming up to me and confiscating my matches, which didn't really stop me because they were free and I just went and got some more.

10 minutes later and I was monging out. My head fell in to my arms, I dropped my drink and I weren't speaking ha! I'd fallen asleep. Well Adam, Simon and John thought it was a funny idea to stand at the other end of the room and film me on my own… and it was… not long after a female member of staff approaches me and tells me I have to leave, I stand up and nearly fall over so she has to hold my hand and take me to the bouncers. They tell me I can come back in once I've sobered up a bit… fuck that! I weren't going to sit on a wall after being kicked out of the gig at 9:30pm, plus I never got to see Lupen Crooke which is the reason I went in the first place! So… I went walkie's with my video camera.

I can't actually remember anything past getting kicked out all I know is what I filmed and this is where it get's shameful. I run round the back of the college trying to find a way back in, I find a set of key's (which were actually mine) and I'd try putting my front door key into the doors around the college narrating what I was doing. Every time I approached a door I knocked on it first and waited a few minutes for someone to answer… which they never did… god knows what I was thinking. As I walk further stumbling into the walls and bins I walk around a corner to finds a set of fire exit door with the glass cracked. I seemed a bit puzzled, so I took a near-by brick from the floor and pelted it at the glass! BANG! Nice one Sam! Well this was some pretty strong glass and was not easy to put a hole in. it was just cracking and bending. I picked and the brick again and through it a second time. BANG! No luck. Third time… BANG! Glass falls to the floor and there is a small hole…yey! I start to tap the glass with my fingers to check the status… it needs another go. I pick up the brick a forth time, BANG! I've made a hole big enough for my fist to pass through. I start pushing out the glass around the hole with my hand to try and make it bigger. Then I stop filming.

This next part of the story is all on memory. I walk away from the doors, put my camera down, and run… TOWARD'S THE GLASS… SMASH! I hit the glass cutting myself up pretty bad, lying on the ground I start moaning and muttering. After I've gotten up I start kicking the shattered window till a tall enough hole is made for me to pass through. When it is big enough I walked through, I was finally back in the University. What I didn't know is that it was a completely different part of the Uni from where the gig was being held. So I walk around the corridors only to find more locked doors! But not all bad because I find a room with a chair and a table so I lye on the floor and go to sleep!

This didn't last for long because I was woken up by a floating flash light, behind this mysterious thing was a security officer who picked me up and took me out of the building the way I came in… mind goes blank for a bit, but next thing I remember is being in the back of a police car chuffed with out my camera. Next I'm at the police station, they ask me a bunch of pointless questions one of which… 'Do you have any scars or injuries?' so no doubt I pull down my boxers and moon the bastards to show them my two iron brands everyone has a good laugh and I get thrown in a cell.

Being in a cell for the first time was one of the best experiences ever! I had such a laugh! I laid on my hard arse bed looking at the ceiling where an advert was written 'did drugs bring you here? If so talk to frank' but some hilarious fucker had tip-x'd out the 'r' and 's' in 'drugs' so the message said 'did dug bring you here?' I was pissing myself!

An hour later of singing, laughing and trying to run up the walls, someone out side was crying his eyes out and making a rather loud noise. So I started shouting 'SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP', he was not shutting up. I then sung 'Mr Brightside' by 'Killers' as loud as I could to drown out the noise of crying. After about 15 minutes I fell asleep.

The next morning, 'What am I doing here?', 'What did I do?', I was still quite drunk when I awoke so I started laughing at stupid things like squashing my face up against the door, or looking at the toilet. I pressed the buzzer impatiently a bunch of time till a voice said 'Yes can I help you?', I then thought it was funny to carry on pushing it over this ladies voice hoping it would annoy her. 'Hello?' she shouts, 'Erm yeah, can I like, speak to someone please because I don't know why I'm here'. She tells me someone will be there shortly, my plan was to act dumb and oblivious to what I had done, which I honestly couldn't remember all of it anyway. Half an hour later a police man comes and gets me, takes my finger prints, DNA and photo… great… then comes my interview. If you've never been interviewed by police before this is what they do, they sit you in a little room with two officers and state who the are and why each one of them are there… they turn on a small tape recorder and say the date and shit… then comes the questions… I just had to play dumb remember some stuff but pretend I couldn't remember after a certain point… and it worked! Kind of… I was put out on bail for a month, and the bastards kept my camera for evidence. I must of said a thousand times 'please take care of it that my life blah, blah, blah' ha ha.

I was due to return for another interview do decide weather I am to attend court about the criminal damage and burglary claims? Don't know what the burglary was about, don't think I stole anything. Just after the interview I got told that Adam, John and Simon came to the police station to get me, police sent them away for me to meet them. So I grabbed my stuff, was proper done in about not having my camera for god knows how long, and left. I phone Adam to find out their all at McDonalds, and after having a burger my Buckinghamshire adventure was complete!

We all pack up are things, left Simon at his Uni and headed home laughing are heads off. But what happened when we went back up to Buckinghamshire? Well, that's another story!

Yeah man you should. I'm just giving a slightly worse image than what it really is like here just so you don't get disappointed lol
We'd make your stay a constant blast if you came over, same goes for Slavin

Dude I talked to j0nes about it for awhile, even there prison system rules.

One time me and Geaslin got locked out of a house and then walked all the way across town while carrying a big box of Budweiser. It was the dumbest thing ever. We could have gotten public intox and minor in possession easy.

We'd take turns carrying the box so the other person could have a beer. Good times....