post #1
12 March 2006, 15:32 UTC#1
Right, so before I go off on a massive rant, this will be a very long post. Don't read unless you are very bored. I just want to vent at the moment, but could also do with some opinions to make sure I'm coming at this situation from the right way.
Ok, some background first. My girlfriend goes to a Christian Fellowship church, which I can only assume falls under the category of an Anglican church. Anyway, its more like a social club than a church, a lot of young people go to it, they all get on really well, it provides them with a safe environment to plan stuff like bowling trips n shiz like that, as well as being a place of worship. My girlfriend attends, and she classes herself as Christian, but she's not extremely strict about it; she drinks, smokes weed on occasion, we have sex, she is basically normal (or as normal as me, in any case). And since it gives her a place to have a good time with friends, I've always been for her going. Her ex boyfriend Luke also goes to the Church, they went out with each other for 9 months before I came along, but she dumped him so I've never had a problem with him being there.
A few of them have a church band that leads worship every couple of weeks. She's been singing for them for about 7 months, has performed in front of the church loads, and generally enjoys it.
Anyway, so last night I was at home, having abandoned going to a gig through lack of cash and transport. So I'd just started settling down for a nice curry when I get a ring on my mobile from my girlfriend, she's really upset and walking home from a band practice. I walk up the road to meet her, and this has what has happened:
The woman who watches over the band, Sarah, who is 27, has waited for my girlfriend to walk about half a mile to the place the band practices, and then has watched her practice with the band for about 15 minutes. So she pulls her aside and basically says to her that since she (my girlfriend) is seeing a non-christian (that being me), it would be inproper of her (Sarah) to place her (my girlfriend) at the front of the church in a position of responsibility, as younger members may look on her being in a relationship with a non-christian as an ok thing to do. Therefore, my girlfriend can't sing in the band or be any part of it anymore. (Mercifully, she can still attend Church though. Thank God for small graces, eh?) Not only that, but this woman also took it upon herself to comment to my girlfriend "And I wouldn't recommend being in a relationship after Luke anyway!". This bitch spent 15 minutes patronising my girlfriend, then sent her packing out into the streets at 8 on a freezing Saturday night, to walk home past all the pubs. She also said the same thing to a guy Tom, and now he's out of the band too because he's going out with someone who isn't Christian.
My girlfriend really, really enjoyed that band, not only for the singing but because it allows her to hang out with a few of her friends. I was literally shaking with anger when I was told about this, and was all set to go down to the church and get in this woman's face. I'm all for advice given in church, but this goes too far. I've been with my girlfriend for over a year, it's not some kind of sordid affair, I haven't been molesting her while I draw semen pentograms on her body. She's been in the band for 7 months, and it's never been a problem before.
Theres a number of things that get to me about this. First is that my girlfriends been royally fucked over here, and the walking home thing.
Second is that this bitch is casting aspersions over me. She actually used the words "chances are you may be lead astray by this boy". I don't know this woman, and more importantly she doesn't know me. I realise I'm not exactly an angel, but I'm fucking respectable if I do say so myself. How dare she make an uninformed opinion over me. My dad's side of the family are all Irish immigrants, who, while they drank themselves stupid and beat eachother up, were strict Catholics to the core. I've got an older faith running through my fucking blood, and yet a leader in this little Anglican sect views me as a fucking heretic.
Third, the comment about my girlfriend not having a relationship after her ex. Seriously, what the fuck is up with that. Where does this bitch get off interfering with things that don't concern her?!
This is the kind of bigotted view that really, really fucks me off. It's not that I have anything wrong with the faith itself - Christianity has brought joy to millions, my girlfriend included, and I would never try to come between her and her beliefs. It's the actual institution I can't stand. It is full of narrow-minded bigots who wouldn't know compassion if it bit them in the arse. My girlfriend isn't going to break up with me, but she can't see that the woman is being a total bitch. She still thinks that she herself deserves to be kicked out of the band.
Sorry about making this a thread, but I thought it'd be too long to be placed under the HGF Things thread, and plus I really need to make sure I'm being reasonable with my anger here. I'd welcome any form of opinion, or past experiance.
Ok, some background first. My girlfriend goes to a Christian Fellowship church, which I can only assume falls under the category of an Anglican church. Anyway, its more like a social club than a church, a lot of young people go to it, they all get on really well, it provides them with a safe environment to plan stuff like bowling trips n shiz like that, as well as being a place of worship. My girlfriend attends, and she classes herself as Christian, but she's not extremely strict about it; she drinks, smokes weed on occasion, we have sex, she is basically normal (or as normal as me, in any case). And since it gives her a place to have a good time with friends, I've always been for her going. Her ex boyfriend Luke also goes to the Church, they went out with each other for 9 months before I came along, but she dumped him so I've never had a problem with him being there.
A few of them have a church band that leads worship every couple of weeks. She's been singing for them for about 7 months, has performed in front of the church loads, and generally enjoys it.
Anyway, so last night I was at home, having abandoned going to a gig through lack of cash and transport. So I'd just started settling down for a nice curry when I get a ring on my mobile from my girlfriend, she's really upset and walking home from a band practice. I walk up the road to meet her, and this has what has happened:
The woman who watches over the band, Sarah, who is 27, has waited for my girlfriend to walk about half a mile to the place the band practices, and then has watched her practice with the band for about 15 minutes. So she pulls her aside and basically says to her that since she (my girlfriend) is seeing a non-christian (that being me), it would be inproper of her (Sarah) to place her (my girlfriend) at the front of the church in a position of responsibility, as younger members may look on her being in a relationship with a non-christian as an ok thing to do. Therefore, my girlfriend can't sing in the band or be any part of it anymore. (Mercifully, she can still attend Church though. Thank God for small graces, eh?) Not only that, but this woman also took it upon herself to comment to my girlfriend "And I wouldn't recommend being in a relationship after Luke anyway!". This bitch spent 15 minutes patronising my girlfriend, then sent her packing out into the streets at 8 on a freezing Saturday night, to walk home past all the pubs. She also said the same thing to a guy Tom, and now he's out of the band too because he's going out with someone who isn't Christian.
My girlfriend really, really enjoyed that band, not only for the singing but because it allows her to hang out with a few of her friends. I was literally shaking with anger when I was told about this, and was all set to go down to the church and get in this woman's face. I'm all for advice given in church, but this goes too far. I've been with my girlfriend for over a year, it's not some kind of sordid affair, I haven't been molesting her while I draw semen pentograms on her body. She's been in the band for 7 months, and it's never been a problem before.
Theres a number of things that get to me about this. First is that my girlfriends been royally fucked over here, and the walking home thing.
Second is that this bitch is casting aspersions over me. She actually used the words "chances are you may be lead astray by this boy". I don't know this woman, and more importantly she doesn't know me. I realise I'm not exactly an angel, but I'm fucking respectable if I do say so myself. How dare she make an uninformed opinion over me. My dad's side of the family are all Irish immigrants, who, while they drank themselves stupid and beat eachother up, were strict Catholics to the core. I've got an older faith running through my fucking blood, and yet a leader in this little Anglican sect views me as a fucking heretic.
Third, the comment about my girlfriend not having a relationship after her ex. Seriously, what the fuck is up with that. Where does this bitch get off interfering with things that don't concern her?!
This is the kind of bigotted view that really, really fucks me off. It's not that I have anything wrong with the faith itself - Christianity has brought joy to millions, my girlfriend included, and I would never try to come between her and her beliefs. It's the actual institution I can't stand. It is full of narrow-minded bigots who wouldn't know compassion if it bit them in the arse. My girlfriend isn't going to break up with me, but she can't see that the woman is being a total bitch. She still thinks that she herself deserves to be kicked out of the band.
Sorry about making this a thread, but I thought it'd be too long to be placed under the HGF Things thread, and plus I really need to make sure I'm being reasonable with my anger here. I'd welcome any form of opinion, or past experiance.
) and send it in a letter to her to show what you're truly like? I could see if you were face to face with this woman things will turn bitter, and with a letter you can be formal. Explain how much your girlfriend enjoys being in the band, and although you're not Christian you have respectful morals, values and opinions. Then inform her of the definition of the word 'Prejudice.'
