Tell HGF Things

pretty much three times what im able to spend

I would also kill myself if id brake or lose it while bar hopping

^ proper creased up.

<3

This story is amazing!
gotta love 4chan

Okay so at my school we have faculty advisers that are assigned to students according to their last names. The faculty advisers help students with scheduling conflicts, general questions, help with internships/employment, etc. My adviser is named Jess Depew and as you can see she's pretty hot. The picture doesn't really do her justice but they're all I've got at the moment. She's like 25 and she's only been at the school a few years. Anyway, I have been looking into getting an internship at a TV station or something over the summer, and the school helps coordinate these things with an internship database that's maintained by the advisers. You log on with your school ID and password and you can browse internships and stuff. I was having trouble logging on to mine so I went to go see Ms. Depew. That's where all the trouble started.

Firstly, I walked into office like 15 minutes early like an idiot and she's in the middle of lunch. So I awkwardly make stupid stall talk until she's finished.

"Oh, hey, what are you eating?"
"Salmon. I love it. I eat it practically everyday."
"Just salmon? That's pretty weird." Why the hell did I say this?
"Oh, well, I don't know. I try to eat healthy, natural foods...you know, like wild berries and honey and stuff."
"Yeah, I like food too." *facepalm*

Man, I was so nervous. Anyway, we finally begin squaring my stuff away. She looks up what I registered with in the beginning of the year. This is when the crap really hit the fan. This is how the conversation went:

"Okay, you're account name is [my name] and your password is ...'depewissexy'..."

Oh damn. I completely forgot that I put that as my password in the beginning of the year. What the hell was I thinking? It was probably the longest 20 seconds of my life before I finally got my balls together to stand up and leave. Just as I walk out the door she says,

"In the future, you might want to bear in mind what kind of things you want keep to yourself."

I was so freaking embarrassed I wanted to kill myself right then and there. I wanted to run the hell out of there and never, ever see her again. But something about what she just said kept me standing in her doorway. I decided to man up and apologize. I turned to her, looked her straight in the eyes, and swallowed my pride. And then, it hit me like a train full of bricks.

She was eating Salmon.

She tries to eat all healthy, natural foods, like wild berries and honey.

She told me that I might want to bear in mind what kind of things I want to keep to myself.

Ms. Depew was a bear disguised as a human.

Immediately, the bear saw that I had seen through its charade. It roared loudly and took a menacing swipe at me. I deftly avoided its claw and sprinted out of the office. The bear was soon in chase, crashing through the walls of the office as if they were made of paper. I jumped over the receptionist desk and ran out the back entrance. The bear followed, tossing the secretary aside like a rag doll. The bear began to pursue me through the street traffic. While I fought my way through the maze of vehicles, the bear simply careened its massive force through anything standing in its way. Cars veered off the road to escape the onslaught of grizzly force that was barreling down the road. The bear was gaining fast. I had no other option but to make my way into the nearest building: a preschool. I burst through the door, startling the children from their naps. Immediately, the bear slammed through the wall, crushing a child beneath his massive paws and burying several other children in sheet rock and debris. I maneuvered my way through the chaos towards the back exit. The pre-schoolers were little more than a screaming annoyance for the bear. Its massive paws cut swaths through the sea of toddlers with each swipe. I used the precious time these children had afforded for me to make my escape into the playground. I scrambled up a ladder to a fort-like structure. My goal was to walk across the monkey bars then jump to a tree which I could climb to the roof of the preschool and perhaps flag down a passing helicopter.

I began my trek across the monkey bars just as the bear charged outside, its teeth and claws still fresh with the blood of the innocent. It let out a monstrous roar and began its assault on the cheap, wooden
playset. I let go of all caution and ran to end the end of the monkey bars. I leaped for the tree branch just as the bear's enormous girth came plowing through the entire structure. I grasped the branch tightly as the bear collided with the tree, sending it into a daze. I saw this as my one opportunity not for escape, but for victory. I leapt off the tree onto the ground and grabbed a stray bar that had been shorn from the playset. The bear was slowly coming to so I had to act fast. I ran to the beast and thrust the jagged end of the pole into its jaw and through it's skull.

The bear had been defeated. I shambled home in pain but victorious.

Today, I returned home a champion.

It's been done many times. The best one is where the narrator turns out to be a bear.

None the less, Funny as fuck!

lmao.

I am getting my life back on track. 20 minute bike ride to a cross country jogging track, 5km jog, used the exercise machines they have there for about 20 min, ran some more and 20 minute bike ride back home. This is the first aerobic exercise I've done all summer. Yay me.

What about furious masturbation?

Even that has been too much of an effort this far, but now seems like a good opportunity. Today, I'm burning calories like a madman.

I'm thinking sets of 150x5 yanks and call it a night

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slavin, tell her 'yes'

lmfaoo, facebook creepin eh.

thats actually my cuzin. she got to go to philly 2 do some photo shoot with the company she works with, and yeah shes already datin a good friend of mine, sorry mate, maybs if u send me some hypebot stickers

Thas no your cousin, if she really is, how much?

Fuck her side of the family got all the good looks.

all depends on what currier you want to use

edit - same side man

edit 2 - lets not talk about her anymore k thx

Nah you were probably adopted or found behind KFC eating out of the bins.

And I've been watching all the Star Wars films in a row for so long now. On the third one and it feels like it's been days. D:

Stand off in LA.

http://interactive.foxnews.com/livestream/live.html?chanId=1 LIVE FEED!

what am I watching? I am legend?

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what's happening?

Looks more like wall-e right now.

maaaaaate that silver thing is a robot!!! are we fighting robots now?

maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate its TWO ROBOTS FIGHTING EACH OTHER


pewpewpew

Oh the guys says he has a car bomb. They sent the Johnny 5 robot in!

let them blow it up it looks like noddy's car

I dont wanna stop watching incase it blows.

SWAT team are here.

And 2 Johnny 5s.

Lol, the robot fell over trying to mount the curb.

L.A. Now
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA -- THIS JUST IN
« Previous Post | L.A. Now Home | Next Post »

Police ram car in failed bid to end Westwood standoff
August 13, 2009 | 3:45 pm
Los Angeles police rammed an assault vehicle into a man's car in an unsuccessful bid to end a five-hour standoff in Westwood with the suspect, who allegedly made threats against the White House.

A robot equipped with a camera was placed next to the Volkswagen Beetle so officers could get a look at what was going on inside.

Police evacuated apartment buildings near the Federal Building's parking lot, as well as some federal offices. Veteran Avenue and surrounding streets have been closed.

The incident began with a pursuit through parts of the Westside and ended at the Federal Building, where the Los Angeles Police Department and UCLA police officers blocked the vehicle.

Law enforcement sources said that SWAT officers are now on the scene and are trying to determine how to proceed. One source, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the case is ongoing, said the suspect might have mental problems but is alive and unarmed inside the car.

FBI and Secret Service are here now. I've got two links open, one with sound. The robot that fell over was the FBI's.

http://interactive.foxnews.com/livestream/live.html?chanId=1

http://media.myfoxla.com/live/2/#