post #1
24 October 2005, 18:13 UTC#1
I was bored as fuck a couple of weeks back and wrote the following crap, discuss...
Welcome to windows XP, a new revelation in computing technology. We offer the best performance for less, with an unmatched record on compliant software and zero driver problems. Windows XP is best when not connected to the internet. Rest assured XP will function amazingly when not on the WWW and you'll experience no problems whatsoever. Additionally, the built in browser, which is a hit with idiots around the world will seamlessly crash when installing and executing applications, thus forcing you to turn to third party applications for additional stability. But rest assured, XP's integrated Media Player will transfer media to your soundcard in exactly the quality you've downloaded it at. XP now includes a new and improved registry system, that's easier to manipulate for the advanced computer user, and easily destroyed by a begginner, but at least you won't have to touch any commands from the improved GUI, which removes CMD's level of control and decides what you want to do for you! XP truelly is the "next-gen" OS with seamless capability and compatibility. Now it's easier to re-install XP when your system crashes. Simply login to your BIOS, change the boot order and you're ready to go. Make sure you have a backup, as Windows restore utility is still in the Alpha stages. Regardless of slight mishaps, XP will stil guarantee you an interesting computing experience, and will make even the elderly, or a child feel at home using the fantastic "fisher price" like GUI. The API is set apart from previous versions of windows, guaranteeing genuine licensees get the full benefit of security updates throughout the day, thus maintaining a temporarily safe system. Rest assured though, you need not go to extreme lengths to update your system, simply navigate to "Windows update" located in your start menu, which has been designed from the ground up to make you feel exactly like you are in a fish and chip restaurant. XP just makes things easier, do away with those dated and useless commands. XP is the finest in technology, XP will bring you many hours of joy and cure your boredom. Guaranteed, XP will get you addicted to late nights, just like your earlier youth! Know a computer expert? Now you need not pay a callout charge when your system is functioning strangely, simply download MSN, supply your personal information, and when ready you can use MSN's integrated "remote control utility ©®™" to let your internet friend, gain complete unrestricted control of your system down to a core level, just make sure that you're not behind a router, or firewall, and all your system ports are open, or it won't work! XP is truelly stunning, and we hope to support this system with daily security updates for years to come! XP has been designed with YOU entirely in mind, XP integrates all the features of Linux, with all the beauty of MAC, and the stability of a limp cock. Do more, grow more, be more, with Microsoft®™©£ Windows®™©£ XP®™©£ Professional®™©£. XP now makes the world a more interesting place, you need not leave your living room to be immersed in a paradise, with our array of multi-cultural and colourfull wallpapers. Our range of styles will amaze, and fool you into thinking XP is much more than just a glorified GUI!
Miss your PC when away? Now you need not visit a dull internet cafe with Windows'â„¢ PDA OS. Simply load all your files onto volatile memory and you're away. Be prepared though, the integrated Messenger is a little buggy and no plans to introduce a new version have been made. You may want to avoid airplanes, or electromagnetic fields with your PDA though, as they may affect the functionality and stability of your Pocket PC and cause data loss. Not to worry though, with our fantastic new utility you can choose space over performance, or performance over stability as XP PDA 2001 will guide you through menu's on startup so you can configure your system almost exactly as you like it! The new XPPDA can also be combined with your mobile phone, to provide you with WAP and full resolution pages at your fingertips. Be carefull though, as some modern day webpages may not display correctly
. Now your XPPDA can be fully integrated with your PC! Simply load the drivers onto your desktop system, configure the PDA through an automatedâ„¢ menu, and you can load as much data on your PDA, as memory it has! No need to worry though, as XP is the only platform that supports PDA syncronising with XPPDA, feel special using XP!
XP now supports a bigger and better technology. We give you a product we have been working on for years, absolutely free! All we ask in return, is you're a genuine licensee and have XP installed on your system. That's right, XP now comes completely "Plug 'n Play" enabled. Simply plug your USB device into your USB port, and Windows XP INSTANTLY recognises it and installs the device along with a generic driver! What more could you want? The reasons are here today, get Windows XP now, and make your computing world a simpler and better place!
Welcome to windows XP, a new revelation in computing technology. We offer the best performance for less, with an unmatched record on compliant software and zero driver problems. Windows XP is best when not connected to the internet. Rest assured XP will function amazingly when not on the WWW and you'll experience no problems whatsoever. Additionally, the built in browser, which is a hit with idiots around the world will seamlessly crash when installing and executing applications, thus forcing you to turn to third party applications for additional stability. But rest assured, XP's integrated Media Player will transfer media to your soundcard in exactly the quality you've downloaded it at. XP now includes a new and improved registry system, that's easier to manipulate for the advanced computer user, and easily destroyed by a begginner, but at least you won't have to touch any commands from the improved GUI, which removes CMD's level of control and decides what you want to do for you! XP truelly is the "next-gen" OS with seamless capability and compatibility. Now it's easier to re-install XP when your system crashes. Simply login to your BIOS, change the boot order and you're ready to go. Make sure you have a backup, as Windows restore utility is still in the Alpha stages. Regardless of slight mishaps, XP will stil guarantee you an interesting computing experience, and will make even the elderly, or a child feel at home using the fantastic "fisher price" like GUI. The API is set apart from previous versions of windows, guaranteeing genuine licensees get the full benefit of security updates throughout the day, thus maintaining a temporarily safe system. Rest assured though, you need not go to extreme lengths to update your system, simply navigate to "Windows update" located in your start menu, which has been designed from the ground up to make you feel exactly like you are in a fish and chip restaurant. XP just makes things easier, do away with those dated and useless commands. XP is the finest in technology, XP will bring you many hours of joy and cure your boredom. Guaranteed, XP will get you addicted to late nights, just like your earlier youth! Know a computer expert? Now you need not pay a callout charge when your system is functioning strangely, simply download MSN, supply your personal information, and when ready you can use MSN's integrated "remote control utility ©®™" to let your internet friend, gain complete unrestricted control of your system down to a core level, just make sure that you're not behind a router, or firewall, and all your system ports are open, or it won't work! XP is truelly stunning, and we hope to support this system with daily security updates for years to come! XP has been designed with YOU entirely in mind, XP integrates all the features of Linux, with all the beauty of MAC, and the stability of a limp cock. Do more, grow more, be more, with Microsoft®™©£ Windows®™©£ XP®™©£ Professional®™©£. XP now makes the world a more interesting place, you need not leave your living room to be immersed in a paradise, with our array of multi-cultural and colourfull wallpapers. Our range of styles will amaze, and fool you into thinking XP is much more than just a glorified GUI!
Miss your PC when away? Now you need not visit a dull internet cafe with Windows'â„¢ PDA OS. Simply load all your files onto volatile memory and you're away. Be prepared though, the integrated Messenger is a little buggy and no plans to introduce a new version have been made. You may want to avoid airplanes, or electromagnetic fields with your PDA though, as they may affect the functionality and stability of your Pocket PC and cause data loss. Not to worry though, with our fantastic new utility you can choose space over performance, or performance over stability as XP PDA 2001 will guide you through menu's on startup so you can configure your system almost exactly as you like it! The new XPPDA can also be combined with your mobile phone, to provide you with WAP and full resolution pages at your fingertips. Be carefull though, as some modern day webpages may not display correctly
. Now your XPPDA can be fully integrated with your PC! Simply load the drivers onto your desktop system, configure the PDA through an automatedâ„¢ menu, and you can load as much data on your PDA, as memory it has! No need to worry though, as XP is the only platform that supports PDA syncronising with XPPDA, feel special using XP!XP now supports a bigger and better technology. We give you a product we have been working on for years, absolutely free! All we ask in return, is you're a genuine licensee and have XP installed on your system. That's right, XP now comes completely "Plug 'n Play" enabled. Simply plug your USB device into your USB port, and Windows XP INSTANTLY recognises it and installs the device along with a generic driver! What more could you want? The reasons are here today, get Windows XP now, and make your computing world a simpler and better place!
