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Intense reading

7 posts · page 1 of 1

post #1
05 October 2005, 19:31 UTC#1
ok....I have a friend in creative writing and she wrote a poem about me....then I made her change it cause it had Carmen in it and me and her were fighting so yeah....

here it is

HOLLOW MAN



Abandoned affection describes your absence.
Eating off of ideas and living off of empty pleasure.
If you peaked into your soul, there would be vast openness’
with maggots nibbling on what is left.
You share nothing,
your life surreal to me.
A lost child adapting to failure
coping with your own insecurities,
blaming misfortune on the few that attempt to love you.
Confused by love, intoxicated by transgressions.
Heart and mind throbbing like the hurt in a crushed figure nail.
Sinking deeper…
deeper into a quick sand pit!
Distant,
scared senseless,
weak from quick image movement
forbidding you mentality to linger.
No one saves you!
Now you see the jaded world.
Hateful treachery rotates around unfilled promises.
Your foundation crumbling,
cracking,
unstable,
One false move invoking your destruction.
Your talents,
not understood
Crowded streets suffocate your individuality.
Demanding attention to satisfy your confidence. indulging in malice,
so alone.
Living in awkward silence
making your skin crawl,
like little legs skimming you body.
Then biting you over and over again.
Numbness routine takes over your motion.
Chained to a burden,
regrets making you repent.
But its too late and you still don’t care!
Cold metal cutting off circulation,
blood pouring from your gaping wounds.
Enemies clipped you fragile wings
Your Caught …No escape…….
Now your conscience divided-
What is wrong? What is right?
Every tear penetrates the ground
permitting even the Earth to feel the struggle
dwelling in your internal battle.
Convulsions….
Dark, bottomless eyes reflect the corruption
the disease has left on your reason.
Soul grinded against concrete,
raw skin corroded by blood.
Memories leave scars on your body
marking the remorse you lack
appear.
Realizing your maimed ability to love,
resenting the judging hands of time.
Will you ever be the same??
Your fear of being forgot fuses the cracks in your shaking voice.
Life like an hourglass glued to the table,
only going one direction.
Resting on your incapability to produce faith.
What will happen when those precious grains of sand run dry?
Where will you go?
Time manipulates your faults.
The dull end of a needle stabbing
once,
twice,
three
times into your compassion for others.
Loving when it’s only convenient for you.
Pushing true love away,
illusions that hardly even existed
Terrified of rejection…
Faltering on the edge of sanity,
server depression altering your morality.
Black butterflies circling your head,
realizing your dreams are in reach,
But losing your desire to reach for them.
Wherever you are,
you are what is missing
Part of your emotions scrapped out of an oozing carcass-
festering, infected
just like your plaid ethics
Pollinating your misery to every flower.
Prone to pattered behavior.
Scored by betrayal and lost friends,
A family seen through broken shards of glass
illuminates your destructive lifestyle
Drugs and alcohol a band-aid to hide the thrill to feel nothing
Hating every second of living,
a prisoner to existence.
Enduring a traitor conscience,
obedience to temptations.
Seeking lust and achieving endless disappointments,
accumulating sin just so you can feel
something,
anything.
Will you snap back to reality or
will the abyss of emotion grab your heart
and pull you into its beyond.
A paradox of tranquility fabricating your contentment.
Bare passion, stone hard sprit, sizzling in self-pity,
Will your essence ever be the same?
Open and allow the one perfect love to except you
for you.
Where are you?? Who are you??
Standing still no longer an option.
Excuses, not acceptable.
Enslaved by no second chances
No!!!!!!!!
Liberate yourself, chance you nature,
breathe in the tomorrow and enjoy the bliss of today.
Judging character?
I am good at
you said so yourself.
So enlighten me because I don’t comprehend…
Will you ever love again or will you just let go??
post #2
05 October 2005, 19:36 UTC#2
The strain of reading all that dark emotional and confusing text might have killed me....



so I didnt read it...



try: www.homegrownpoemforums.com
post #3
05 October 2005, 20:12 UTC#3
Cool, I could never write anythin like that.

Just split up with the missus a few days ago so it was a pretty depressin read but some of the lines describe how I feel.
post #4
05 October 2005, 20:13 UTC#4
QUOTE(j0nes @ Oct 5 2005, 07:36 PM)
The strain of reading all that dark emotional and confusing text might have killed me....



so I didnt read it...



try: www.homegrownpoemforums.com
[right][snapback]193979[/snapback][/right]


biggrin.gif
post #5
05 October 2005, 20:15 UTC#5
I thought about reading it, then I scrolled down after reading like the first 5 lines, seeing how far I'd go, and then I quit, the first 5 lines were really good though! I know I couldn't write anything that long or good.
post #6
05 October 2005, 20:18 UTC#6
yeah....it is intense....it has gave me inspiration for my next Photoshop piece....to bad my PS is broke and im FUCKED
post #7
05 October 2005, 21:10 UTC#7
QUOTE(PiePeePoo @ Oct 5 2005, 08:31 PM)
ok....I have a friend in creative writing and she wrote a poem about me....then I made her change it cause it had Carmen in it and me and her were fighting so yeah....

here it is

HOLLOW MAN



Abandoned affection describes your absence.
Eating off of ideas and living off of empty pleasure.
If you peaked into your soul, there would be vast openness’
with maggots nibbling on what is left.
You share nothing,
your life surreal to me.
A lost child adapting to failure
coping with your own insecurities,
blaming misfortune on the few that attempt to love you.
Confused by love, intoxicated by transgressions.
Heart and mind throbbing like the hurt in a crushed figure nail.
Sinking deeper…
deeper into a quick sand pit!
Distant,
scared senseless,
weak from quick image movement
forbidding you mentality to linger.
No one saves you!
Now you see the jaded world.
Hateful treachery rotates around unfilled promises.
Your foundation crumbling,
cracking,
unstable,
One false move invoking your destruction.
Your talents,
not understood
Crowded streets suffocate your individuality.
Demanding attention to satisfy your confidence. indulging in malice,
so alone.
Living in awkward silence
making your skin crawl,
like little legs skimming you body.
Then biting you over and over again.
Numbness routine takes over your motion.
Chained to a burden,
regrets making you repent.
But its too late and you still don’t care!
Cold metal cutting off circulation,
blood pouring from your gaping wounds.
                                                                                                              Enemies clipped you fragile wings                                                     
Your Caught …No escape…….
Now your conscience divided-
What is wrong?  What is right?
Every tear penetrates the ground
permitting even the Earth to feel the struggle
dwelling in your internal battle.
Convulsions….
Dark, bottomless eyes reflect the corruption
the disease has left on your reason.
Soul grinded against concrete,
raw skin corroded by blood.
Memories leave scars on your body
marking the remorse you lack
appear.
Realizing your maimed ability to love,
resenting the judging hands of time.
Will you ever be the same??
Your fear of being forgot fuses the cracks in your shaking voice.
Life like an hourglass glued to the table,
only going one direction.
Resting on your incapability to produce faith.
What will happen when those precious grains of sand run dry?
Where will you go?
Time manipulates your faults.
The dull end of a needle stabbing
once,
twice,
three
times into your compassion for others.
Loving when it’s only convenient for you.
Pushing true love away,
illusions that hardly even existed
Terrified of rejection…
Faltering on the edge of sanity,
server depression altering your morality.
Black butterflies circling your head,
realizing your dreams are in reach,
But losing your desire to reach for them.
Wherever you are,
you are what is missing
Part of your emotions scrapped out of an oozing carcass-
festering, infected
just like your plaid ethics
Pollinating your misery to every flower.
Prone to pattered behavior.                                                                       
Scored by betrayal and lost friends,
A family seen through broken shards of glass
illuminates your destructive lifestyle
Drugs and alcohol a band-aid to hide the thrill to feel nothing
Hating every second of living,
a prisoner to existence.
Enduring a traitor conscience,
obedience to temptations.
Seeking lust and achieving endless disappointments,
accumulating sin just so you can feel
something,
anything.
Will you snap back to reality or
will the abyss of emotion grab your heart
and pull you into its beyond.
A paradox of tranquility fabricating your contentment.
Bare passion, stone hard sprit, sizzling in self-pity,
Will your essence ever be the same?
Open and allow the one perfect love to except you
for you.
Where are you??  Who are you??
Standing still no longer an option.
Excuses, not acceptable.
Enslaved by no second chances
No!!!!!!!!
Liberate yourself, chance you nature,
breathe in the tomorrow and enjoy the bliss of today.
Judging character?
I am good at
you said so yourself.
So enlighten me because I don’t comprehend…
Will you ever love again or will you just let go??
[right][snapback]193975[/snapback][/right]


I quoted it just to be difficult



man leave peotry for emo's or goths or both