need a push?

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud
pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing
in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, it is 3 o'clock in the morning!" He
slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunken guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out
there!"
"Well, you have a short memory,² says his wife.
"Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those
two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be
ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding
rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.















"Over here - on the swing!" replies the drunk.

thats not funny!
whoever you are....

Meh Image file not present in the recovered backup

I prefered the last one, but pretty lol.

What the damn?

Whats up with your joke threads. I think you should just make a thread, and every joke you think of just keep posting it in that.

That was really funny for some reason. It's all in the state of mind.

Yeah you make a thread per joke, stick to one thread...

I thought it was funny cuss I have no maturity

did you get that off a penguin wrapper ?

What penguin wrapper is that big?

I liked it

...what?

ok a better example a christmas cracker

An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for
the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served,
asked the bartender if he would get the money from his
wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him. He
then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips. The bartender
did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender
would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips. The
bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms
and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him.

The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times. By
the way, where is your restroom?" The bartender quickly replied, "The
closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street."

A Penguin is a type of chocolate bar in the UK. On each wrapper is a crappy joke.

good shit

crappy??? Take that back you blasphemic bitch!

I agree Image file not present in the recovered backup

Ok I'm sorry. I guess I'm just missing the comical genius that each Penguin bar holds.

hahahah good man

too true!

Image file not present in the recovered backup

BWHAHAHAHA.

http://www.penguinbar.com/

"Computer Generated Homoerotic Art"

I thought it was quit humourous

ahahahahahaha *snort* that was awesome...For some reason I found it funny.