post #1
17 April 2008, 01:54 UTC#1
All seriousness, none of you Homegrown people know my real name and thats probably why I'm feeling comfortable posting this up. I prefer random stories, real-life sucks these days, but I now have a small problem that's becoming an larger issue around here and I need some fast advice...
My apartment manager Lyle is a large, wretched man with bad knees. This guy holds every conversation with a smurk because of his botched cleft paletted mouth and slowly walks around harrassing me and alot of the young men in the building. He's been beaten up, but he's sick and it took me awhile to realize it.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
The others here keep it quiet as not to upset him or something. The rent goes up twice a year. It's also rather interesting to walk past his first floor doorway and consistantly hear that cheap asian porn in the background blaring with no shame thru the non insulated windows like nobodies bizness or that goddamn pucculi!
A few monthes back they found a mini camera in two seperate apartments ventilation shafts, but never found the transponders, so he never got charged. My neighbors toilet stopped working monthes ago and they still will'nt fix that either... Real asshole.
Anyways, on friday I killed Emilee, his little grey & white cat.
I came home and there it was again, just outside my back window fucking deep moaning or whatever, cause it was obviously in heat. I have always hated cats and always will! My mother & nana used to tie them up in heavy bags and just throw them into the river.
I'm somehow thinking Lyle knows, but they can't prove it. I'm now getting midnight hang ups, my cars getting tons of these flyers everyday and they have these BIG yellow signs up w/ reward all over this place and its got everyone talking. He did'nt care about it that much or he would'nt have always let it outside, unneutered.
So I snatched it up and brought it inside here to my kitchen and stuck it right in the microwave, but I didn't turn it on. I just let her sit in there and look through the little see-through window. It looked scared as hell, since it was in a really tight spot and could'nt move much at all.
I sat there and drank nearly two beers before I hit that START/COOK button... at first, I just nuked it for like 10 seconds at a time.
Then the cat started squirming at about 20 seconds, after about 30 seconds, that cat was definitely agitatated and showed signs of heatstroke or something, which probably would have killed it within a month or less anyways.
I always heard... if you nuked it for like a minute, you'll probably kill it, depending on the size of the cat, the microwave cooks inside out, so after a minute, it's intestines and lungs will be a little toasty, maybe killing it, if not, probably sterilizing it or leaving it a slow and terrible death.
After almost three years of putting up with this guys power trips, etc... I saw the chance to REALLY express my rage for him and his B.S. rules and I just went "ALL OUT".
This is NOT for the Squeamish... It was pretty fucking gross, and being the cat hater I am, I still felt sorry for it.
In 30 seconds, it started kicking & howling and just freaking out.
In 1 minute, it was spazzing like nothing I have ever seen before, some blood was coming from it's mouth due to internal cuts the Nuking I did, all types of seizures and some last moans were following at 2 minutes. At about 2 and a half minutes, the cat was still alive, it's pupils were dialated and it was twitching like someone stuck a Electrolysis gun up it's ass... At 3 minutes or so, it was almost dead.
The last two minutes was the cool part... now that the fucker was dead, it was time to watch the fireworks. I think at around 4 minutes, the cat started popping, it's eyeballs literally popped out of it's sockets, and the blood started to ooze, not a pretty sight.
At about, 4 mins 15 seconds, it's fur started to curl, although it was already crispy and at about 5 minutes, the whole microwave was a Big slaughterhouse. The smell of that cat nearly made me throw the fuck up and I had to open the door and some windows... next time I'll have to don some type of gas mask.
Which brings me to the clean up... the oven was fukin' broken. My black heart wanted to leave it on his doorstep, kinda like the prized horsehead in that movie. Im still paying rent here, so I simply unplugged it, wiped down the buttons for any fingerprints and bagged it up in a black Hefty lawn bag and took it over to those dumpsters behind the Target... even took a few pictures.
External image not preserved — inspect source: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/hollywoodhigh/Emily.jpg
I'll spare you them in here and just post them all up in PMs per request...
Anyways, I know this might upset someone in here and I never would have started this thread, but today my good friend finds out about this somehow and she will not let it alone. Now its becoming this BIG DEAL and I'm not into confessions, so I guess what I'm looking for is some advice before this gets out of hand.
My apartment manager Lyle is a large, wretched man with bad knees. This guy holds every conversation with a smurk because of his botched cleft paletted mouth and slowly walks around harrassing me and alot of the young men in the building. He's been beaten up, but he's sick and it took me awhile to realize it.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
The others here keep it quiet as not to upset him or something. The rent goes up twice a year. It's also rather interesting to walk past his first floor doorway and consistantly hear that cheap asian porn in the background blaring with no shame thru the non insulated windows like nobodies bizness or that goddamn pucculi!
A few monthes back they found a mini camera in two seperate apartments ventilation shafts, but never found the transponders, so he never got charged. My neighbors toilet stopped working monthes ago and they still will'nt fix that either... Real asshole.
Anyways, on friday I killed Emilee, his little grey & white cat.
I came home and there it was again, just outside my back window fucking deep moaning or whatever, cause it was obviously in heat. I have always hated cats and always will! My mother & nana used to tie them up in heavy bags and just throw them into the river.
I'm somehow thinking Lyle knows, but they can't prove it. I'm now getting midnight hang ups, my cars getting tons of these flyers everyday and they have these BIG yellow signs up w/ reward all over this place and its got everyone talking. He did'nt care about it that much or he would'nt have always let it outside, unneutered.
So I snatched it up and brought it inside here to my kitchen and stuck it right in the microwave, but I didn't turn it on. I just let her sit in there and look through the little see-through window. It looked scared as hell, since it was in a really tight spot and could'nt move much at all.
I sat there and drank nearly two beers before I hit that START/COOK button... at first, I just nuked it for like 10 seconds at a time.
Then the cat started squirming at about 20 seconds, after about 30 seconds, that cat was definitely agitatated and showed signs of heatstroke or something, which probably would have killed it within a month or less anyways.
I always heard... if you nuked it for like a minute, you'll probably kill it, depending on the size of the cat, the microwave cooks inside out, so after a minute, it's intestines and lungs will be a little toasty, maybe killing it, if not, probably sterilizing it or leaving it a slow and terrible death.
After almost three years of putting up with this guys power trips, etc... I saw the chance to REALLY express my rage for him and his B.S. rules and I just went "ALL OUT".
This is NOT for the Squeamish... It was pretty fucking gross, and being the cat hater I am, I still felt sorry for it.
In 30 seconds, it started kicking & howling and just freaking out.
In 1 minute, it was spazzing like nothing I have ever seen before, some blood was coming from it's mouth due to internal cuts the Nuking I did, all types of seizures and some last moans were following at 2 minutes. At about 2 and a half minutes, the cat was still alive, it's pupils were dialated and it was twitching like someone stuck a Electrolysis gun up it's ass... At 3 minutes or so, it was almost dead.
The last two minutes was the cool part... now that the fucker was dead, it was time to watch the fireworks. I think at around 4 minutes, the cat started popping, it's eyeballs literally popped out of it's sockets, and the blood started to ooze, not a pretty sight.
At about, 4 mins 15 seconds, it's fur started to curl, although it was already crispy and at about 5 minutes, the whole microwave was a Big slaughterhouse. The smell of that cat nearly made me throw the fuck up and I had to open the door and some windows... next time I'll have to don some type of gas mask.
Which brings me to the clean up... the oven was fukin' broken. My black heart wanted to leave it on his doorstep, kinda like the prized horsehead in that movie. Im still paying rent here, so I simply unplugged it, wiped down the buttons for any fingerprints and bagged it up in a black Hefty lawn bag and took it over to those dumpsters behind the Target... even took a few pictures.
External image not preserved — inspect source: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/hollywoodhigh/Emily.jpg
I'll spare you them in here and just post them all up in PMs per request...
Anyways, I know this might upset someone in here and I never would have started this thread, but today my good friend finds out about this somehow and she will not let it alone. Now its becoming this BIG DEAL and I'm not into confessions, so I guess what I'm looking for is some advice before this gets out of hand.
Wow, I just did the IP lookup, and honestly, there are no other members with this IP. So, if someone is pulling a prank on us here, they're doing it from a different PC than their normally used one.
