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Thing I Wrote

27 posts · page 1 of 1

post #1
13 April 2008, 01:07 UTC#1
So yeah, I wrote this a few months back and just got around to typing it up today. I figure I'll probably get bashed by a few people, but I think it's a good read. Let me know what you think.





As I made the long drive home with an eighth of a tank and an eighth of consciousness, I thought to myself: There’s just something about 3AM. So peaceful, so still. Like I’m the only man left in the world. And it can be comforting at times. Everything is mine. There’s no one on the road. There’s no one on the sidewalks, or in the stores. The early morning belongs to me. There’s no one around to tell me no, or to tell me I can’t. As far as I know, I know no limits. Even the speed signs are irrelevant. If there are no police around, there is no speed limit. Of course, you’ll occasionally stumble upon the odd cop (Actually, it’s more of him stumbling upon you.) and he’ll give you a hard time about why you are out so late. (Or so early.) “Yes Sir, no Sir.” You say, trying your best to shove your nose up his ass. But really, what is time? And why are there sections of it that are peculiar to spend outside? It’s like: “Fuck off. If I wanted you to know what I was doing, I’d hang a small billboard off the back of my car that reads: MY INTENTIONS FOR DRIVING TONIGHT ARE…” But of course you can’t say that because you’ll either be slapped with a fine or held a night in jail. But I digress….. Sometimes, after parking my car, I like to just step outside and stand for a minute or so. Not even the animals are up. As nocturnal as some are, it’s close to sunrise, so it’s not really night anymore. And if you’re lucky enough to catch a day when there’s no wind, it’s almost as if time is at a standstill and you’re in control of it. You make little noises to break the awkward silence as the sound echoes off of nothingness. Look at yourself, strolling around while everyone sleeps. Frozen in time they are. While they lay dormant, hours of their lives pass them by. It’s almost a shame that I have to succumb to sleep all the time. It just feels like I could be doing something more productive. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I wanted to do something and then thought: “Oh, right… sleep…” And most of the time, I either forget what it was I wanted to do by the next morning, or I never get a free minute to do it anyway. So I suggest, whenever you get the chance, tape your eyelids open and wait for 3AM. You’ll know it when you see it. Too late to be night, too early to be morning. That transitional phase between today and tomorrow. And you’ll know the feeling when it hits you. That you’re all alone, but it’s not a bad thing. It doesn’t bother you. You’ll feel relieved because there’s no one to fear from and no one to impress. It is total self realization. You are you, and only you. No man’s servant, no government’s mule, and certainly no one else but yourself. And whatever you do during that time is up to you. Use it, but don’t abuse it because they might start making it illegal to be out at that time. Or even worse, they might make it illegal to be yourself at that time. They already do it during the day. Don’t let them steal the night life away from you. Not just yet. And as fulfilling as it is to sit and watch the sun rise, it reminds you that it’s almost time to put your mask back on and prepare for another day of living the lie they call the “American Dream.”
post #2
13 April 2008, 01:16 UTC#2
Try going outside a nightclub at 3am, the tranquility won't be there then haha.
post #3
13 April 2008, 01:26 UTC#3
I thought that was rather well written.

My only critique, is that. You seem to put. Full stops and commas. In awkward, places. You also seem, to put them. Where they're not needed.

Other than that, I rather enjoyed it.
post #4
13 April 2008, 02:15 UTC#4
Haha, nice one, Blargh.
post #5
13 April 2008, 03:36 UTC#5
yeah, I might give this a read, when I come down from the E haha bitches, my back hurts
post #6
13 April 2008, 03:55 UTC#6
QUOTE(The Blargh @ Apr 12 2008, 10:26 PM) [snapback]479404[/snapback]

You seem to put. Full stops and commas. In awkward, places. You also seem, to put them. Where they're not needed.

Yeah, at times I just write and sort of miss grammar stuff. But there's a little less restraint with free writing stuff like this. If anyone knows the best ways to display all this stuff, please let me know.
post #7
13 April 2008, 04:07 UTC#7
Okay, I read it. All I can say is this - that has no literary merit.

That is all.
post #8
13 April 2008, 04:38 UTC#8
QUOTE(Ray @ Apr 13 2008, 03:07 PM) [snapback]479413[/snapback]

Okay, I read it. All I can say is this - that has no literary merit.

That is all.


Haha, you're hard to please. =P

Are you expecting some kind of aesthetic integrity . . . on HGF?

Good luck with that. :tongue:
post #9
13 April 2008, 04:44 UTC#9
Blargh, get on MSN, I'll send you something good I wrote for a class. I'll show you aesthetic integrity. Up the ass.
post #10
13 April 2008, 04:53 UTC#10
QUOTE(Ray @ Apr 13 2008, 03:44 PM) [snapback]479415[/snapback]

Blargh, get on MSN, I'll send you something good I wrote for a class. I'll show you aesthetic integrity. Up the ass.


I am on MSN.

Besides, you should post your work in this thread, so young Alex here can get some inspiration, or maybe some ideas.

. . . or just pilfer your work and pass it off as his on another forum somewhere.
post #11
13 April 2008, 05:24 UTC#11
Add me on MSN, Blarrrrrghy - [email address redacted]
post #12
13 April 2008, 05:24 UTC#12
QUOTE(Ray @ Apr 13 2008, 12:44 AM) [snapback]479415[/snapback]

Blargh, get on MSN, I'll send you something good I wrote for a class. I'll show you aesthetic integrity. Up the ass.

How's part 3 coming along?
post #13
13 April 2008, 05:27 UTC#13
It's done, but horribly ended.
post #14
13 April 2008, 06:27 UTC#14
I still wanna read the novella over Summer, Ray.

School is raping my asshole right now.
post #15
13 April 2008, 06:30 UTC#15
QUOTE(Yates @ Apr 13 2008, 07:27 AM) [snapback]479426[/snapback]

School is raping my asshole right now.


Same, and I'm just in high school. Image file not present in the recovered backup
post #16
13 April 2008, 07:19 UTC#16
QUOTE(Ray @ Apr 13 2008, 04:24 PM) [snapback]479419[/snapback]

Add me on MSN, Blarrrrrghy - [email address redacted]


Right-o, I'll add you.

Won't be able to read your work at the moment though, but hit me up later.
post #17
13 April 2008, 09:32 UTC#17
QUOTE(EBAlex @ Apr 13 2008, 04:07 AM) [snapback]479401[/snapback]

whenever you get the chance, tape your eyelids open and wait for 3AM. You’ll know it when you see it. Too late to be night, too early to be morning. That transitional phase between today and tomorrow.

Vargtimmen. the wolf hour.

fiiiiiilis
post #18
13 April 2008, 09:36 UTC#18
QUOTE(Yates @ Apr 13 2008, 08:27 AM) [snapback]479426[/snapback]

I still wanna read the novella over Summer, Ray.

Image file not present in the recovered backup

Oh, and I read the piece - I thought it was alright. Apart from the lack of paragraphing and juddery punctuation, it was an interesting subject and you conveyed your message well. I found myself reading the bit about 3am and how you're your own person because no one else is around and so on, and I could really identify with that. Just work on your presentation.
post #19
13 April 2008, 12:46 UTC#19
QUOTE(Ray @ Apr 13 2008, 01:27 AM) [snapback]479421[/snapback]

It's done, but horribly ended.

Well, next time you see me on MSN, send it to me..I've been waiting patiently.
post #20
13 April 2008, 16:30 UTC#20
QUOTE(Liam @ Apr 13 2008, 06:36 AM) [snapback]479444[/snapback]

Just work on your presentation.

Punctuation is the only thing I ever seem to have a problem with. It feels like I just never learned it thoroughly cause English is almost always my best subject.
post #21
14 April 2008, 00:24 UTC#21
QUOTE(EBAlex @ Apr 13 2008, 06:30 PM) [snapback]479500[/snapback]

QUOTE(Liam @ Apr 13 2008, 06:36 AM) [snapback]479444[/snapback]

Just work on your presentation.

Punctuation is the only thing I ever seem to have a problem with. It feels like I just never learned it thoroughly cause English is almost always my best subject.

Not just punctuation, paragraphing is a major issue to think about. A piece of writing can change vastly depending on whether it's a solid chunk of text or if it's properly paragraphed. Just something to bear in mind for the future, if you're thinking of writing more.
post #22
14 April 2008, 15:48 UTC#22
next time you go out driving, pop a few Tabs and write some poo on erowid, everyone seems to find that sorta thing entertaining
post #23
15 April 2008, 02:57 UTC#23
Yeah, I just typed this up. It was just sentence after sentence that I jotted down on paper.
post #24
15 April 2008, 02:59 UTC#24
one day
imma out right you; just wait and see

youll never know. what hit, this forum:




haha in all seriousness I actually forgot to read it, I read the first little bit tho and I was liking it, so since im going to bed I will read it sometime 2morrow and post feedback worthy
post #25
15 April 2008, 03:07 UTC#25
Yeah, and I'm anal about grammar too. I just can't get punctuation.
post #26
15 April 2008, 03:12 UTC#26
QUOTE(The Blargh @ Apr 12 2008, 09:26 PM) [snapback]479404[/snapback]

I thought that was rather well written.

My only critique, is that. You seem to put. Full stops and commas. In awkward, places. You also seem, to put them. Where they're not needed.

Other than that, I rather enjoyed it.
lol
post #27
15 April 2008, 13:02 UTC#27
Thats pretty good man, enjoyed it actually, im not gonna pick you up on the punctuation cos its been mentioned so many times but if there was a bad thing about it, that would be it. lol