Sex Stories

So I was listening to The Gym Class Heroes - "Make out Club" and it gave me the idea to start this topic.

So lets hear them guys/girls.

One that always comes to my mind is one time at my house when John and Matt were over. My ex was in my room asleep and I was tired as fuck so I tried to sneek into bed, because shes a sex addict/slut. Well she woke up, so of course we start going at it. After maybe 3 seconds I blew it on her chest and went to get a drink. As I walk out of the room into the hallway all I hear is John in the living room....and what does he do....he starts clapping. I fucking lost it and almost pissed myself laughing. Then he said I'm not staying here anymore when you two are here, because I could hear her over the train, which was about 20ft from my house. There's a few more I'll post later.

lmao...

my penis bled everywhere.

But the karma was soon to come. One day, which actually took a few days, I was working on the wiring in my car and was in the garage for....about 4 hours while the guys were inside. I can't remember whom all was at my house, but there were a few of them. So I get the car to start and run inside to tell John what the problem was....but John is no where to be found, where is John you ask? In my bathroom nailing his gf on my sink.....bastard.

I was there, that house had more sex in it than the L Word. And let me say, John is a loud fucker.
Here's a funny story of my sexual exploits - I've never had sex

...with another conscious person.

I said yes, but you drugged me instead....

This one time, I was having sex with a girl, then remembered that sex was so much better when I wasn't talking about it on an internet forum.

I did it for the sake of consistency. I didn't know how to do it any other way.

Well she must suck because you came back to check on all us men....

I was fucking her in the shower mike, get it right you son of a bitch.

Ah, there is my sex-partner....non-touching sex partner. Theres a good story about John's gf's grandmas too........that ones a keeper.

come ooooon the flying dutchman is your trademark move! give us a good story!

Rob.....your a bitch. I didn't know you edited my post till Raymond told me. You sneeky mother fucker. Karma is a bitch....

Back when I was with my ex-girlfriend, I was fucking her (With a rubber on) and when we finished I crawled up on herand kissed her. WHen I took the condom off, it flung a bunch of cum and lube into her eye.

Rob, quit editing peoples posts.

edit: unless its dan avery.

So lets hear it rob, confess it up...

When I heard about the Flying Dutchman, I actually did it. No lie. Was very awkward.

So which one is the one you've done?


1. Flying Dutchman

When you know you just took a shit but when you wipe...there's nothing there;...and you look in the toilet and there's nothing there. Scaring you as if youve just seen a ghost ship.

2. Flying Dutchman

When recieving oral sex from a woman, just prior to climax, scream out in a high pitched voice "Here comes the flying dutchman!". This is the ultimate example of Brunsky-esque sexual tomfoolery.

3. Flying Dutchman

where your having sex with a girl standing up, and you do a cartwheel.

4. flying dutchman

when you are siting on the couch, and your fart crawls up your back.

5. Flying Dutchman

Its one girl, and 5 guys...one in each hand, one in the mouth and one in each hole down below...essentially she is floating like only the ancient sea-creature would

6. Flying Dutchman


it's where you drop a large hot steamy pile of shit onto her chest and then swam dive your ass cheeks onto her and smear it all over her, sexily!!

7. Flying Dutchman


Its when you lube up someones asshole and then lube up your head and just take a running start and dive in.

That, but instead of oral, it was actual sex. I added the flapping arm movements too.

I guess for that I'll forgive you for editing my post

I bled coz she was dry as fuck and I wasnt wearing a rubber. Last time ive gone there.

Did you not turn her on at all or something? lol. Silly Kiwis.

Watch the DR Party video.

LOL@STATUTORY

lol, your not meant to just turn up and dive in u fool. hahaha, get some juice on her goose first.


(please note, I've never actually used, or heard the word goose used to describe a pussy before but it rhymed with juice.)

Juice on her moose*

moose is a word for it?

Awsome, juice on her moose then. sorted.

Nar I just was thinking of more strange animals you could use.
Lube up her tube.....that could work.

Juice on her kaboose and do her the wrong way.