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Dane Cook

23 posts · page 1 of 1

Mento Extraordinario
post #1
06 March 2006, 06:10 UTC#1
What's your favorite joke from him?

Mine is:
QUOTE
So, I'm hanging out with all my buddies, and I realized something, I realized something. Look at the group of people you've known the longest in your life. Think of the group of people you have hung out with the most.. maybe you're all here tonight... and this is what I realized.. I had an epiphany, here it is right here. There is one person in every group of friends that no body fuckin likes! You basically keep them there to hate their guts.. when that person is not around the rest of your little base-camp... your hobby is cutting that person down. Example: Karen, is ALWAYS a douche bag. Every group has a Karen, and she is ALWAYS a bag of douche!! When she's not around, you look at eachother and go "GOD KAREN! SHe's such a douche bag!" ... Until she walks up, and then you're like, -Hey what's up Kaarr! KAARR! What's up Kaarr!!- There is always that one person... and I'm looking out and some of you are like "hmm.. I disagree" Well, you're THE PERSON! You're the person nobody likes! I know, IT IS SO TRUE, and thats why it's funny, it is so true, that's why it's funny, because it's so true, hence, funny.


Funny guy :D
Word
post #2
06 March 2006, 06:13 UTC#2
I like that "shit on the coats" one quite a lot.
Mento Extraordinario
post #3
06 March 2006, 06:21 UTC#3
QUOTE(Word @ Mar 6 2006, 01:13 AM) [snapback]298286[/snapback]

I like that "shit on the coats" one quite a lot.

Some one shit on the coats!
I think someone may have shit in or around the coat area. There's a smell of shit around the perimeter, the vicinity of coats, leading me to believe someone has shit on the coats
bordumbgirl
post #4
06 March 2006, 06:44 UTC#4
Theres two things every guy wants to do....have a pet monkey and be invovled in sum kind of heist.

Just imagined how excited you would be coming home knowing you were going to fight a monkey...you get home...MONKEY?!?!

YEAH!!
WHERE ARE YOU?!!
IM IN THE CLOSET!!
YOU CAN TALK?
YEAH I TAUGHT MYSELF TODAY!
THATS INCREDIBLY ODD....
I KNOW LETS FIGHT!!!

Dane Cook is the sh*t hands down...hes awesome. :happy:
Word
post #5
06 March 2006, 06:47 UTC#5
I personally reccomend downloading "Andrew Dice Clays" ones... I seriously almost died from laughter.
cIRca
post #6
06 March 2006, 07:10 UTC#6
Did you type that whole thing out? Image file not present in the recovered backup

I Just like Retaliation.
robism
post #7
06 March 2006, 13:21 UTC#7
yeah he's awesome I just listened to retaliation the other day
hands down 'my son optimus prime' has gotta be the funniest
I was dying when I first heard that shit
wkh
post #8
06 March 2006, 13:28 UTC#8
I'm gonna share something. I finally got to see something that I have prayed my entire life that I would get to see. And three weeks ago. Three weeks ago, I finally got to see it LIVE. I finally got to see someone get hit by a car. Yeah. Pppuuhh. Nailed! I see the guy coming down the street, he's got his headphones on, he's doing this movement right here. I don't know what you're listening to that makes you walk like this. Maybe just maracas, maybe he's just listening to maracas. The car starts coming down the street. I see the car. I see the guy walking across with the Do Not Walk signal. When I see the car coming, right away, I'm like, "Yeeeaaaaahhhh... Yes. Here we go!" This guy gets hit, right here. The best place to get hit because it makes you flop around like a fucking dead monkey. Yeah. He starts doing combo moves from Tekken, he looks like Eddy Gordo in the air, all of the sudden. His shoes flew off, okay. He's in the air. And I want to say something before I go any further. I tried to help. I'm serious, I did try to help this man. As the car was coming towards him and he was crossing, I.. I went like this, I went, "Uuhhhhhhhh.." I reached towards him with uh, jazz hands. And I said, "Uuhhhhhhhh." That's all I could say! I wanted to say other things... I wanted to say, "You're about to get struck by a vehicle!" But I didn't have time to say you're about to get struck by a vehicle, so I went with, "Uuhhhhhhhh!" and I reached toward him. Guy gets hit, shoes fly off. I laugh. But here's the best part, this is how he lands after he lands on the other side of the car. He flips in the air, he comes down, he hits on his feet, jumps and he starts walking around, embarrassed. He's trying to play off like he didn't get hit by a fucking car! Awesome!


YES IVE FOUND THE VIDEO
Rico
post #9
06 March 2006, 18:35 UTC#9
The original BK Lounge can not be topped
cIRca
post #10
06 March 2006, 20:46 UTC#10
Reading it doesn't do it as much justice as hearing it does. I urge people to purchase 'Harmful if Swallowed'.
Jonneh
post #11
06 March 2006, 21:04 UTC#11
dane cook is a silly bitch
Hookedonlemons0410
post #12
06 March 2006, 21:12 UTC#12
Dane Cook is THE best comedian ever!
His stuff is sooo fucking funny. Image file not present in the recovered backup
DiagonalMoonn
post #13
06 March 2006, 22:03 UTC#13
Dane Cook is pretty much my idol..
I went and seen him live on Tourgasm and the funniest thing in my opinion that he did there was when some women got up and started to walk away and he was all like "WHERE YOU GOING" and he ran up to here and then finally after bugging here for a while let her go, and then he chased her down again and bugged her some more and then let here go again and chased her down one more time.. until she was out of the area we could see and he took a dead sprint off to her and was fucking with her some more... all I can remember was when he said she had big boobs and he said "No, dont show me those!" Had to of been there.. Also when he sung his grilled cheese jingle and made an audience member sing it and jumped up on his chair and jumped the guys face while he was singing it.. also had to be there.
Joe.
post #14
06 March 2006, 22:28 UTC#14
I watched all the videos, really didn't think he was all that....maybe im just tired and irritable but I laughed occasionally, very occasionally.
FV Straton
post #15
06 March 2006, 22:29 UTC#15
I hear my friends quoteing the one where like a guy gets hit by a car..the shit starts getting annoying..
Skipper
post #16
06 March 2006, 22:42 UTC#16
QUOTE(Joe. @ Mar 6 2006, 10:28 PM) [snapback]298644[/snapback]

I watched all the videos, really didn't think he was all that....



The pear thign was funny though...
Joe.
post #17
06 March 2006, 22:43 UTC#17
QUOTE(Skipper @ Mar 6 2006, 10:42 PM) [snapback]298653[/snapback]

QUOTE(Joe. @ Mar 6 2006, 10:28 PM) [snapback]298644[/snapback]

I watched all the videos, really didn't think he was all that....



The pear thign was funny though...

Ok I'll give him that, that was pretty funny.
Skipper
post #18
06 March 2006, 22:45 UTC#18
QUOTE(Joe. @ Mar 6 2006, 10:43 PM) [snapback]298654[/snapback]

QUOTE(Skipper @ Mar 6 2006, 10:42 PM) [snapback]298653[/snapback]

QUOTE(Joe. @ Mar 6 2006, 10:28 PM) [snapback]298644[/snapback]

I watched all the videos, really didn't think he was all that....



The pear thign was funny though...

Ok I'll give him that, that was pretty funny.


yeah was about the only thing I loled at.
NayNay
post #19
06 March 2006, 22:50 UTC#19
Dane Cook is my absolute favorite comedian but if you've known him for a while you start to notice how much he over uses jokes. Some of those are soo old.
My all time favorite joke of his is when hes talking about Public Restrooms fukken hilarious!
adEm
post #20
06 March 2006, 23:02 UTC#20
I always fancied the one about the car accident and being in the house washing dishes.

I kicked my shoes off in a fit of joy.
No Mercy Video
post #21
07 March 2006, 01:25 UTC#21
Here is a dane update:

He is filming his hbo special april 15th
and hbo will be airing tourgasim as a documentry type show weekly
also, harmful if swallowed went gold.

Yay dane!
joe_thc
post #22
07 March 2006, 03:53 UTC#22
who is dane cook
itsallinthehips
post #23
07 March 2006, 04:07 UTC#23
Just downloaded 'harmful if swallowed', heard a bit of it in school, funny shit.