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what the ultimate fuck?


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the question is......how well?

Here's what you need to know about me. I'm extremely hot, and if you want to date me, I expect a lot in return. Sure some people think I'm high-maintenance, but with my face and body, I'm worth it. Unfortunately, I don't think my current boyfriend, Sebastian, understands that. I like the fact that he's in a band -- after all, Gwyneth married Chris Martin. What is unacceptable is all the time he spends at band practice. I'm sure Gwyneth doesn't have to sit around waiting for Chris to get back from band practice. Also, since he's starting at a new school this fall, we're not going to be in class together so he's going to have to work over-time to attend to my every need. So anyway, there's this rumor going around that Sebastian and I broke up, but it's totally untrue. I've even heard through the grape-vine that there's this Illyria tramp named Olivia who has the hots for Sebastian. Unfortunately, there are people that are extremely jealous of me - that would be Sebastian's lame twin sister, Viola, and her loser friends Kia and Yvonne. Also, their friend Paul who obviously has bad taste because he's never even tried to hit on me - who are spreading this nasty rumor. Get this: Viola broke up with her boyfriend, Justin, who was way too cute for her anyway (way too cute), because she wants to play on the boys' soccer team. I mean, why doesn't she just start listening to Melissa Etheridge and get it over with? The only good thing about Viola is her mother, Daphne, who is a former debutante and a member of the Junior League. I can't wait until I'm older so I can join the Junior League, too. It's this great, very exclusive women's club where you get to wear great clothes and go to lunch and stuff. Oh, did I mention that I'm out for blood?