post #1
10 January 2006, 11:57 UTC#1
Forum index / Funny shit / ...and now a random fact about Chuck Norris
...and now a random fact about Chuck Norris
21 posts · page 1 of 1
post #2
10 January 2006, 12:00 UTC#2
QUOTE
We all know that during World War II, President Roosevelt told United States citizens that "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Sadly, most people don't know the rest of that statement: "Fortunately for us, Chuck Norris IS fear itself, and he is on our side, so we have nothing to fear at all."
post #3
10 January 2006, 12:03 UTC#3
QUOTE
Chuck Norris once hurled his body in the way of an 18 wheeler to save a baby, coincedently while performing his NFL style victory dance he spiked the baby into the ground and performed a perfect moonwalk.
post #4
10 January 2006, 12:31 UTC#4
QUOTE
Chuck Norris once fought off 42 ninjas bilndfolded, while having sex with 3 women.
QUOTE
God will only remain in business as long as he continues paying protection money to Chuck Norris.
^haha I loled at that one
post #5
10 January 2006, 14:42 UTC#5
QUOTE
IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET
I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris
I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris
post #6
10 January 2006, 15:37 UTC#6
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. lol I was just looking through the internet and found a website on chuck norris jokes
http://www.duckshit.com/funny-stuff/chuck-norris-jokes-iv/
chec Image file not present in the recovered backup k it out
http://www.duckshit.com/funny-stuff/chuck-norris-jokes-iv/
chec Image file not present in the recovered backup k it out
post #7
10 January 2006, 15:42 UTC#7
QUOTE
In the children's story about the three little pigs. The wolf didn't give up on the brick house. He called upon Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick the brick house down into dust and then ate the three pigs. Later on he ate the wolf.
post #8
10 January 2006, 15:59 UTC#8
Chuck Norris once was playin a friendly game of golf with the pope. When Chuck shanked a ball into the bunker he began cursing. The pope said, “I will pray for you my son.†Norris proceeded to roundhouse kick him to the face stating that no one prays for Chuck Noris besides Chuck Norris, then he stole his wallet.
post #9
10 January 2006, 20:01 UTC#9
Chuck Norris volunteers at retirement homes just so he can push old people in wheelchairs onto the freeway.
haha that one made me lol
haha that one made me lol
post #10
10 January 2006, 21:20 UTC#10
...and now a random fact about Chuck Norris:
One night Chuck Norris while was eating a taco that he got when Taco Bell paid their daily respects to him, a man named "Thomas the Hobo" ran up and stole Chuck's taco. Chuck Norris was so angry he screamed into the sky for 8 days and 8 nights. This period of time is now celebrated as "Chanukah" by Jewish people.
One night Chuck Norris while was eating a taco that he got when Taco Bell paid their daily respects to him, a man named "Thomas the Hobo" ran up and stole Chuck's taco. Chuck Norris was so angry he screamed into the sky for 8 days and 8 nights. This period of time is now celebrated as "Chanukah" by Jewish people.
post #11
10 January 2006, 21:53 UTC#11
think this is a good fact?
I made this up about vin diesel, because you can add your own facts
...and now a random fact about Vin Diesel:
always up for a night out, vin diesel once started the great fire of london,
by farting after eating every vindaloo in the country
I made this up about vin diesel, because you can add your own facts
...and now a random fact about Vin Diesel:
always up for a night out, vin diesel once started the great fire of london,
by farting after eating every vindaloo in the country
post #12
10 January 2006, 21:55 UTC#12
QUOTE(randumb tom @ Jan 10 2006, 09:53 PM) [snapback]263400[/snapback]
think this is a good fact?
I made this up about vin diesel, because you can add your own facts
...and now a random fact about Vin Diesel:
always up for a night out, vin diesel once started the great fire of london,
by farting after eating every vindaloo in the country
Not terrible, not good either. Try get a better line than eating all the vindaloos and farting.
post #13
10 January 2006, 21:56 UTC#13
QUOTE(randumb tom @ Jan 10 2006, 09:53 PM) [snapback]263400[/snapback]
...and now a random fact about Vin Diesel:
always up for a night out, vin diesel once started the great fire of london,
by farting after eating every vindaloo in the country
Thats terrible, what were you thinking.
post #14
11 January 2006, 00:55 UTC#14
I made these up.
The square root of infinity is Chuck Norris.
The only thing divisable by 1 besides 1 is Chuck Norris.
Oh god I havn't laughed this hard in for fucking ever, I'm literally crying.
The square root of infinity is Chuck Norris.
The only thing divisable by 1 besides 1 is Chuck Norris.
Oh god I havn't laughed this hard in for fucking ever, I'm literally crying.
post #15
11 January 2006, 18:28 UTC#15
and now a random fact about chuck norris:
chuck norris frequently donates blood to the red cross, just never his own.
chuck norris frequently donates blood to the red cross, just never his own.
post #16
11 January 2006, 18:31 UTC#16
QUOTE
Chuck Norris does not use toilet paper to wipe his ass. He simply uses the woman he slept with the night before.
post #17
11 January 2006, 18:35 UTC#17
QUOTE(randumb tom @ Jan 11 2006, 06:28 PM) [snapback]264030[/snapback]
and now a random fact about chuck norris:
chuck norris frequently donates blood to the red cross, just never his own.
Was that yours or a proper one, terrible.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
hahaha
post #18
11 January 2006, 18:47 UTC#18
External image not preserved — inspect source: http://images.art.com/images/-/Chuck-Norris--C10039396.jpeg
He's a man, such a maaaan...
He's a man, such a maaaan...
post #19
11 January 2006, 18:48 UTC#19
QUOTE(Joe. @ Jan 11 2006, 06:35 PM) [snapback]264040[/snapback]
QUOTE(randumb tom @ Jan 11 2006, 06:28 PM) [snapback]264030[/snapback]
and now a random fact about chuck norris:
chuck norris frequently donates blood to the red cross, just never his own.
Was that yours or a proper one, terrible.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
hahaha
not mine a propper 1, and urs isnt much better
post #20
11 January 2006, 18:50 UTC#20
QUOTE(randumb tom @ Jan 11 2006, 06:48 PM) [snapback]264051[/snapback]
QUOTE(Joe. @ Jan 11 2006, 06:35 PM) [snapback]264040[/snapback]
QUOTE(randumb tom @ Jan 11 2006, 06:28 PM) [snapback]264030[/snapback]
and now a random fact about chuck norris:
chuck norris frequently donates blood to the red cross, just never his own.
Was that yours or a proper one, terrible.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
hahaha
not mine a propper 1, and urs isnt much better
whoa some hostility, I didn't make mine either, made me lol though.
post #21
11 January 2006, 18:53 UTC#21
QUOTE(randumb tom @ Jan 11 2006, 07:48 PM) [snapback]264051[/snapback]
QUOTE(Joe. @ Jan 11 2006, 06:35 PM) [snapback]264040[/snapback]
QUOTE(randumb tom @ Jan 11 2006, 06:28 PM) [snapback]264030[/snapback]
and now a random fact about chuck norris:
chuck norris frequently donates blood to the red cross, just never his own.
Was that yours or a proper one, terrible.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
hahaha
not mine a propper 1, and urs isnt much better
Really? Cos I cracked up at Joe's the first time I read it.